Family, God's presence, healing, Light

My Healing Days

Rev Kathy

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If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

– Psalm 139:11-12 NIV

I am drawn to light, to brightness and color. Dark shadows and muted hues can cause melancholy in me. And in those times, I try everything I can do to fill my day with brightness. It is a healing balm in troubling times.

In 2014, I spent most of the year very ill and in the hospital. As I recuperated at home, I found that I had no energy to surround myself with brightness and color. I did not notice it really, until my sister-in-law came to Little Rock for a visit. A seasoned decorator, she began to transform my surroundings in little ways. She and my brother also insisted that we relocate to Macon, Georgia so that we could be near enough for them to help Fred with my care.

They prevailed. We moved. Our belongings arrived at our new place (a place we had never laid eyes on) before we arrived. My family unpacked all our things, set up the house, and my sister-in-law filled the place with flowers, candles, and all kinds of beautiful things. We arrived late at night. When we walked into the house, it was filled with good smells, brightness and color. It looked like a Southern Living decorator house.

In that brightness and color, lovingly created by my family, I began to heal and get stronger. My days became day’s of calm. I was able to take my intense focus off of my illness and instead aim my gaze toward God. There was healing power in that, a transformative power that strengthened my spirit. The words of John Muir provide a lovely description of my healing days.

Oh, these vast, calm, measureless . . . days, days in whose light everything seems equally divine, opening a thousand windows to show us God.

– John Muir

How grateful I am for the thousand windows open to God. How grateful I am for the love and care of my family, for the light, color and brightness that fills my life. How grateful I am for these healing days.

Courage, Generosity, Light

Running Toward the Light

Rev Kathy

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Running toward the light is no easy thing. It’s an imperative for our better angels. It’s what we do when we are inching closer to the person we aspire to be. I have to admit that it’s far easier for me to dwell in a darker place,  place that is darker because of the despondency that sometimes assails me, a place that is darker because of my tendency to criticize others, to avoid those who do not hold my views, to exclude and disregard.

But the outrageous act would be to rush to embrace others, to welcome relationships and to say, “Here I am. I care for you. I invite you into my life.” I am so inspired by the words Steven Charleston.

Go ahead and be outrageous, as wild as you want to be, in your generosity, in your compassion, freewheeling in your mercy, without limits in your kindness, totally out of control in loving those around you, breaking all constraints of who is in and who is out, ignoring prohibitions about not associating with “those” people, running amok in joy for every living creature, helping all that you can, flat out happy, flat out forgiving, no turning back, no excuses, running toward the light, inviting others to do the same!

~ Steven Charleston, Choctaw elder, author, retired Episcopal bishop of Alaska, and adjunct Professor of Native American Ministries, Saint Paul School of Theology.

I plan to be more outrageous in the days ahead. It would be a God thing, I think, to be “flat out happy, flat out forgiving.” It would be living wilder than I’ve ever been, freewheeling and unfettered by my own intolerance. It would, indeed, be running toward the light, God’s light.

Dreams, Transformation

Still Time to Dream

Rev Kathy

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It’s still early in this new year, still time to embrace fresh, new things. Sarah Ban Breathnach describes a transformative year of dreaming. I love her insight.

A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change.

There is still time to dream. There is always time for self-discovery and transformation. Indeed, for me, it is necessary to keep dreaming and to follow God’s prompting that helps me discover all the ways I might be transformed. Life change is never over, never halted by aging or illness. For that, I am grateful.

I have faced off with both, aging and illness. I have navigated both, and have emerged stronger and wiser for it. So I am moving forward into 2017, carving out quiet interludes along the way, interludes for new dreams and continuing personal transformation. The words of the Psalmist give me courage and comfort.

You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

– Psalm 16:11 New International Version (NIV)

Thanks be to God for a constant, faithful presence, for opportunities for transformation, for the courage to dream new dreams.

Change, Freedom, Politics

The Swelling Current

Rev Kathy

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Yesterday during the inauguration of Donald Trump. I felt as if I were drowning. My own “swelling current” was threatening to overtake me. I allowed myself to become anxious about all the harmful changes the new administration might make.

Today I will pray for the Women’s March on Washington where women will raise their voices for the rights of all women. The group will march west on Independence Avenue SW to 14th Street SW, then they will turn north on 14th Street to Constitution Avenue, then march west on Constitution to 17th Street NW to The Ellipse. Organizers say the event will be a peaceful gathering to “promote women’s equality and defend other marginalized groups.”

More than a quarter of a million women and men will march in our nation’s capital, with other marches taking place in more than 600 “sister marches” planned across the United States. Some of the biggest expected in Boston, New York, Chicago and Los Angeles.

Women and men in cities around the world — including Sydney, Berlin, London, Paris and Cape Town, South Africa — are also marching in solidarity and in opposition to the values they think Trump represents

Protesters march on this day to raise awareness of women’s rights and other civil rights they fear could be under threat under Donald Trump’s presidency. Two of my friends will take my name with them to the Washington march, representing my personal fear that the Trump administration will eliminate Violence against Women Act funding. Most importantly, today we march and pray in protest of Trump’s past comments about women.

So while I nurse my feeling of drowning, I recall the comforting words of this hymn:

When I tread the verge of Jordan, bid my anxious fears subside.
Bear me through the swelling current, land me safe on Canaan’s side.

– Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah, Text by William Williams, 1745.

What a compassionate promise from God found in this hymn. I will rest on that.

Darkness, Light

Supernatural

Rev Kathy
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Light Pillars. Photo by Timothy Joseph Elzinga.

A northern Ontario man was surprised to wake up in the middle of the night, 1:30 am, to see beams of brightly colored lights shooting up into the sky. Timothy Joseph Elzinga came out onto the street in the freezing weather to watch the lights as they changed between yellow, red, green, and blue. The phenomenon is called light pillars.

Light pillars appear when either natural or artificial light bounces off ice crystals floating close to the ground. In this case, the air was so cold that ice crystals were forming in the air, reflecting the city’s street and business lights. “It was very bright in person, like nothing I’ve ever seen. It almost seemed supernatural.”

You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

– 1 Peter 2:9

I am not a person who likes darkness. Darkness is disconcerting to me. In fact, I like to be sure the lights are on in whatever room I happen to be.

Although I love the writing of Barbara Brown Taylor, I literally suffered through her book, Learning to Walk in the Dark. She embarks on a journey to understand darkness, which takes her deeply into unlit caves and other dark places. She learns to eat and cross the street as a blind person, discovering the mysterious ways of “dark emotions.” She rereads scripture to see all the times God shows up at night. She eloquently describes a spirituality of the nighttime, teaching us how to find God even in darkness, and giving us a way to let darkness teach us what we need to know.

Still, the book did not dispel my dread of the darkness. It is true, though, that to get to the light, it is imperative that we walk through the darkness. Without a doubt, life offers periods of darkness to every person. And when we walk through dark times and finally make it to the light, we will have strengthened our spirituality.

So we travel on with faith and courage, grateful that time and time again, God calls us “out of darkness into his marvelous light.” And that reality is supernatural.

Change, Contemplation, Home, Life pathways, Suffering

Making It All the Way Home

Rev Kathy

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“Close your eyes and follow your breath to the still place that leads to the invisible path that leads you home.”

~ St. Teresa of Avila

With aging, I have experienced an emotional and spiritual “returning home.” The years have brought a sense of well-being in some very real ways. It happens to us all, I think, as we follow the usual life paths of grief, loss, fear, hopelessness, and yes, joy. The difficult paths are the important ones, in fact. Each assault, each time of suffering, makes us seek who we really are inside.

In a conversation last night, I made this comment:

The passing years are taking some of my intensity away. I now see my younger self as a very different person than who I am today, looking back on the years in which I was driven to save the world. But I’m happy that the frenetic drive has lessened for me over the years. If I had not settled down, I think I would have died. And the kidney disease year had a profound impact on the person I used to be. I miss myself sometimes, but mostly I’m very grateful to have relaxed.

The beginning of a brand new year brings a pensive season for me, a time when I want to know myself, my real self. My self-assessment, then and now, reveals how I eventually made it through life’s chaos to the serene present. So I am happy that I made it all the way home to this place, this still and holy place that nurtures my life.

Christian Witness, Politics

No Silent Assent to Injustice

Rev Kathy

 

No, we cannot give silent assent to injustice.

Many say that President-elect Donald Trump won, in part, because he gained the favor of evangelicals in the United States. Tragically, these evangelicals sold out, bought into a “fake gospel” of racism, bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia and divisiveness. In so doing, they sacrificed the justice and righteousness of the true Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I was reminded of that in a beautiful sermon preached this Christmas Eve by Bishop Thabo Makgoba, head of the Anglican Church. He eloquently served notice with his stirring words spoken to the faithful gathered for midnight mass in Cape Town, South Africa’s George’s Cathedral. He draws on his childhood, the example of Walter Sisulu, and God’s Word to explain why religious leaders have a critical role to play in addressing a nation at war with itself.

He also had a forthright message for President Jacob Zuma who has called on churches to stay out of politics.

“We have rejected President Zuma’s comments and have told him very firmly: ‘NO, Mr President, we will not refrain from engagement in the political terrain. Our people live there, work there, suffer, cry and struggle there. We live there too, and cannot and will not stop commenting or acting on what we see and what, in our opinion, is unjust, corrupt and unacceptable to God’s high standards of sacrificial love.’,

As people of faith, we must also speak out against the destructive policies of President-elect Donald Trump.

“No, Mr President-elect, we cannot and will not stop commenting or acting on what we see and what, in our opinion, is unjust, corrupt and unacceptable to God’s high standards.”

 

Christmas

Reborn

Rev Kathy

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God of every Christmas, you remind us of the sparkling star that was Bethlehem’s holy promise. In these days, we wait again for the birth of your son, our Savior and Mary’s infant.

Like young Mary, we wait for Him in trembling, joyful expectation under the beam of Bethlehem’s star.

Like Joseph, we wait with the protective concern of a father pondering how this magnificent star has so miraculously marked the birthplace of the Child.

We wait for Christ Jesus as the shepherds waited, keeping watch in their fields, filled with fear and with wonder, waiting through the darkness of night, yet amazed that Bethlehem’s star shone on the very place of the Savior’s birth.

Like the angels who hovered among the stars with the message, “Fear not, for I bring you tidings of great joy for all people,” we sing in exultation the words we have long known, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace.”

Like the Magi who traveled so far from the Orient to see the Christ Child following this celestial star, we are filled to overflowing with grateful adoration, and like them we pay homage with priceless gifts.

And what gifts can we bring you, Christ Jesus?

We offer you our hearts of love, and we pray that you will fill them with your compassion.

We offer our hands, that we might do your work in the world, and we pray you will coarsen them with your labor as they reach out to help hurting brothers and sisters.

We offer you our feet made ready to follow your call on the rough, dusty, desolate roads among people who know pain and loss.

Finally, we give you our lives, that they may move at the impulse of your love, embracing those who need a warm embrace, and thereby changing the world.

We thank you, Christ Jesus, remembering your birth among us under Bethlehem’s star, for as you are born again among us in this season, we will be miraculously reborn by your birth.

Amen.

Change

Where Are You Christmas?

Rev Kathy

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Music can speak for us sometimes. When words fail, music can express what’s in the heart. As Holy days approach, we are not always open to the comfort and joy of the season. For some, health concerns are at the forefront. Others struggle with relationships. Some have financial worries and others feel the sense of hopelessness they see on television news.

We cannot help but grieve for the children and families of Syria. We witness continual gun violence with horror. We feel desperation with immigrants who fear deportation and with young people who live with the fear that violence will cut their lives short. We are anguished by the threat of terrorism in our country and beyond.

And we wonder if Christmas will make a difference. Broken spirits ask the question sung by recording artist, Faith Hill.

Where are you Christmas?
Why can’t I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me?
Why can’t I hear music play?

My world is changing;
I’m rearranging.
Does that mean Christmas changes too?

Yet, we once again wait for the coming of a Savior, one who always reminds us of peace on earth and good will for every person. Unto us a child is born, and because of His coming, we are reborn. The guiding star of Bethlehem still shines upon us. That doesn’t change, even in the shifting winds that threaten to rearrange our lives.

The song ends with these words:

I feel you Christmas;
I know I’ve found you.
You never fade away.
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us,
Fills each and every heart with love.

May God make it so for each of us.

Prayer

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Rev Kathy

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This popular Thanksgiving hymn holds a timeless truth, and speaks to us in these days. It is good news for us that the wicked ones who oppress us will “cease from distressing.” Even in our present time, with God at our side we will escape tribulation. I think mostly this day of the suffering of the families and children of Syria, of those who are the targets of hate in our own country, of our brothers and sisters at Standing Rock, of all who live in fear of losing their cherished freedom.

We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
He chastens and hastens His will to make known;
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing;
Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own.

Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
Ordaining, maintaining His kingdom divine;
So from the beginning the fight we were winning;
Thou, Lord, wast at our side, all glory be Thine!

We all do extol Thee, Thou Leader triumphant,
And pray that Thou still our Defender will be;
Let Thy congregation escape tribulation;
Thy Name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!

May our God make it so. Amen.

 

Prayer

Help Me to Do What Is Right

Rev Kathy

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When the Christ surprises us all and comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory.

All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left.

Then He will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by having done what was right, guided by the Creator and the Spirit, inherit the kin-dom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;

for I was Muslim and you welcomed me,

I was a refugee and you sheltered me,

I was a stranger and you welcomed me,

I was forced to be counted and you stood to be counted with me,

I am black and you said my life matters,

I was LGBTQ and you performed my wedding.’

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you Muslim, black, a stranger, a refugee, LGBTQ, Jewish, or a stranger and welcome you?’ And the King of all Souls will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’

May it be so for me and for you.

Amen.

Prayer by The Reverend Julia Seymour. She serves Lutheran Church of Hope in Anchorage, AK. She blogs at lutheranjulia.blogspot.com. She contributed to There’s A Woman in the Pulpit.

healing, peace

Our Reply to Violence

Rev Kathy

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We have experienced some difficult days following election 2016. Violence was a part of the process, at least a violence of words. And violence takes its toll on the human spirit. The Southern Poverty Law Center has tracked 892 hate groups operating in the United States. The civil rights organization has also cited over 300 cases of hateful harassment or intimidation in the United States since Election Day.

For me, few things have helped ease the struggle of my spirit. The one thing that has helped the most is music. I have found myself singing hymns to myself several times a day and have been comforted by the familiar melodies and sacred texts.

Music has that kind of healing power for so many people during times of trial. Protestant Theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer stands out among the Christian leaders during the Nazi era, for he was one of the few to actively resist the racist actions of the Nazi regime. He said this about music.

Music… will help dissolve your perplexities and purify your character and sensibilities, and in time of care and sorrow, will keep a fountain of joy alive in you.

In the days that followed the assassination of President Kennedy, there were many heart-wrenching musical moments, like the New York Philharmonic’s performance of Mahler’s “Resurrection” Symphony. During that dark time, music director Leonard Bernstein gave an unforgettable speech at Madison Square Garden. His remarks include these words:

This sorrow and rage will not inflame us to seek retribution; rather it will inflame our art … This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly, than ever before.

May it be so … that music is our reply to violence.

Change, Grace, Hope, Life pathways

The Mists of Autumn

Rev Kathy

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The story of Autumn tells of early morning mists that blanket the vibrantly changing trees. It reminds us of a kind of melancholy that anticipates the cold winter months. The sight is a masterpiece lasting for a short time, until the sun breaks through.

It’s also a picture of life that necessarily includes misty, melancholy seasons. Yet the sun breaks through, brightening our existence and reminding us of constant change. We live through the mists, always knowing that eventually the sun will rise upon us.

Until the warmth of the sun returns, we have companions beside us, willing to lead us by the hand until we can see the path clearly again. It’s called the grace of presence that proclaims that we are never alone. Life’s mists will come, but we will walk on with hope and with companions who walk with us until daybreak.

And now, behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thee, and thou shalt be blind, not seeing the sun for a season. And immediately there fell on him a mist and a darkness; and he went about seeking some to lead him by the hand.

– Acts 13:11 King James Version (KJV)

Change

Strength to Face the Wind

Rev Kathy

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Life is very much about standing to face the wind, constantly being blown about by change. It can be tumultuous at times. It can blow gently and change the little things about us. It can be gale-force and rearrange everything we cling to.

The important questions are these: Who will I be in the face of the winds? Will anxiety paralyze me? Will I be afraid? Will I be in a state of turmoil? Or is it possible that I will be that steady center, that constant and consistent presence that stands immovable?

This one thing I know. When God is our anchor, the winds can blow on and we will stand steady. We will “surprise ourselves with the strength we have to face the wind.” So let us hear, with faith in ourselves, the summons from Bishop Stephen Charleston.

Let’s do something surprising. In the midst of anxiety, let us be unafraid. In the time of anger, let us be peaceful. In the heart of turmoil, let us be a steady center… Let us do something different. Let us be the rallying point for faith, the constant and consistent presence of a love that embodies justice, the quiet truth that knits lives together. Let us surprise ourselves with the strength we have when we stand to face the wind.

– Steven Charleston

healing

Walking Lake

Rev Kathy
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“Walking Lake” in North Little Rock, Arkansas. Photo by J.V. McKinney

I love today’s photo, entitled “walking lake.” It reminds me of the comfort of walking beside still waters. It reminds me that restoring my soul is the most important part of life. It reminds me that, when times are tough and all comforts fail, we sometimes just have to walk it off. Sometimes we have to literally will our bodies to get moving and will our spirits to be comforted.

After this presidential election I found myself paralyzed with grief. I didn’t want to leave my house. I didn’t want to move. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. All I could do was keep myself still and quiet until the hurt began to lift.

I knew that I could not stay in my immovable state. I knew I had to lift myself up and walk on. I knew that God had provided a “walking lake” for my healing. And then I happened upon this photo — serene and comforting beauty. I looked at it for several minutes, transporting myself to that place of healing. In the end, I moved. I stood up and got my bearings. I walked on with hope in my heart.

I pray that every person who has been disappointed will find his or her personal walking lake.

Generosity

This Is My America

Rev Kathy

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The road ahead after the 2016 presidential election seems frightening and lonely to me. I have contemplated the outcome of the election over and over again, trying to console and comfort myself. And I’m searching for what was my America.

While people protest in the streets of America and the people whose candidate won the presidential election continue to gloat and to spew hate-filled and divisive rhetoric, I am searching for my America. It’s not so easy to find these days. I can’t help but think that this is not a safe and kind place to live for millions of people.

I changed my mind today. It happened at a Walmart Neighborhood Market.

Shopping today was a heartening experience. A young mother with a small child stood by the door asking for donations of canned foods and other items. Their church was putting together Thanksgiving baskets. They have done this for fifteen years. They told us that they expected to give out baskets of a complete Thanksgiving dinner to about 10,000 families at their church on Russell Parkway in Warner Robins, Georgia. Their act of compassion and caring during this Thanksgiving season almost drowns out the voices of hate.

I was more than happy to donate a few cans and to be a small part of this ministry of love. I take another look at the road ahead and discover that it’s still there beckoning me to walk on with hope. This is my America.

Courage, Friendship

We Can Do This!

Rev Kathy

 

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Everywhere I look I see safety pins. People are wearing them. Millions are posting them on social media. Churches are adding them to messages of inclusion. The pins carry a simple message: whoever you are, you are safe with me.

Jim Wallis of Sojourners describes our state of affairs.

Today, many people are frightened — mostly the people whom the now president-elect has regularly attacked. If I read my Scriptures right, those are the people Christians and other people of good conscience should now turn to in solidarity and support.

I am getting calls all the time. They are from the people who feel most vulnerable: parents of young black and brown children, Hispanic pastors who are dealing with the terrified undocumented families in their congregations, African-American ministers who fear the emboldened white police officers who no longer fear the scrutiny of a justice department, a president, or anyone else who might hold them accountable. And, of course, many of our Muslim brothers and sisters are wondering whether this can be a country for them anymore.

Where must we start as Christians and faithful churches after such a devastating election that brings the most dangerous man to the White House that we have seen in our lifetimes?

That is the question we must answer. As never before, we must find tangible ways to live out our faith by being present with those who are now living with fear. May God give us the courage and compassion to do just that . . . for our brothers and sisters — Latinos, Muslim Americans, women, LGBT persons, African American persons — anyone who is marginalized, disrespected and diminished.

Standing with them in loving solidarity is our calling for the living of these days. Sincere and unceasing prayer is critical. Open hearts and open minds will carry us through, together. The safety pins on our lapels will remind us. We can do this!

grief, healing, sadness

To Sing Again

Rev Kathy

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60,072,551 Americans are celebrating, singing songs of victory. At the same time, 60,467,601 of us cannot sing at all. We are silenced by grief after a divisive and troubling presidential election. Many of us are afraid, some are angry, others are despondent. And all around us, people celebrate.

How will we get through this time? How will we ever again feel that America is our home? When will we again lift our eyes after being bowed down in mourning? I have no easy answers. I only know that these words of the Psalmist describe my deepest feeling.

By the waters of Babylon,
there we sat down and wept,
when we remembered Zion.
On the willows there
we hung up our lyres.
For there our captors
required of us songs,
and our tormentors, mirth, saying,
“Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”
How shall we sing the Lord’s song
in a foreign land?

Psalm 137:1-4

It is my sincere prayer that on some day in the future we will pick up our lyres, lift our eyes to the heavens, stand tall, and sing again.

Grace, grief, healing, Politics

Grace

Rev Kathy

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Day two of grief and confusion. Day two of desperately seeking grace in the midst of grief. Day two of mourning a deeply personal loss.

It was a stunning upset, leaving us with President-elect Donald J. Trump. Despondency barely describes what I’m feeling. Fear may be even more descriptive. I do not feel despondent over being on the losing side of the election. For me, it is not about winning or losing. I do not feel anger or resentment against my brothers and sisters who voted for Trump.

But I do feel disenfranchised in my own country. I feel like I’m a part of a country I don’t understand. I feel like my hopes and dreams are no longer important. I feel like there is a powerful leader over me who will crush my dreams without a thought. I feel like the ground beneath me is shaking. Yesterday I read these words written by my friend, Julie Pennington-Russell.

In 1952, at the threshold of the Cold War, Harry Emerson Fosdick spoke to students and faculty at the Pacific School of Religion. After acknowledging the uncertainty and chaos in the world at that time, he spoke these now-famous words: “The highest use of a shaken time is to discover the unshakable.”

So this, for me, is a shaken time. I feel a cloud of uncertainty and chaos. I fear the days ahead. I am grieving, yet looking for a smidgen of grace in it all. That’s all I can do. And I lean into the encouraging words of Bishop Steven Charleston.

Now comes the hard part. As this new day dawns, joyful for some, sad for others, we face a single question: how will we walk together when our paths seem so different? There is a word for it. Grace. May we have the grace to be humble in victory and hopeful in defeat. May we have the grace to overcome our fears. This is the hard part, the time of seeking the common good, not for ourselves alone, but for those younger lives watching us. May our first step be made in prayer, spoken in different ways but with a shared appeal: give us your grace, dear God, to care more for one another than for winning.

– Bishop Steven Charleston