Faith, peace

Flowing Peace

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“I’m not surprised you are a minister,” said a friend in my leadership class. “You have this peaceful aura about you.” I was surprised by her comment. But I knew immediately that what she saw as an “aura” around me was not really me at all. It was actually God’s peace flowing through me.

The world continues to cry peace when there is no peace. (Jeremiah 8:11) But those who trust God know that God is the source of the peace that transcends all understanding and flows within us—even though we may not even be aware of it. (Philippians 4:7)

After their last supper together, Jesus promised His followers this peace as He prepared them for His death and resurrection. He told them that although they would have trouble in the world, God would send them the Spirit of truth to live with them and be in them (John 14:16-17).

The Spirit would teach them; the Spirit would be with them; the Spirit would comfort them and give them peace for the days ahead. Yes, He told them they would face many trials. He also told them not to be afraid, because the Holy Spirit’s presence would never leave them.

I am in a constant quest to sense God’s peace, as elusive as it seems at times. Though God’s peace is within me always, there are times when chaos takes its toll. I allow life’s worries and challenges to fill my heart and soul, often losing the flow of peace in my life. I know better, of course, but I allow it to happen.

God’s desire for me is to open myself up to inner peace,to allow God’s peace to flow through me. What a blessing it is to know God’s flowing peace, always there, always available to strengthen my faith and refresh my life.

Courage, Faith, Life storms

Strong through Every Storm

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I am no stranger to the rain. I have seen my share of life’s storms, frightening and strong against me. But I have been stronger than every storm. I have stood firm against the gale force winds and the flashes of lightning. I have survived every time. Surviving was hard, but with a heart of hope, I moved forward with life. And I was made stronger by the struggle.

It had little to do with my own strength, everything to do with strength that comes from God. I love the scripture in the book of Mark that tells the story of the disciples weathering a storm on the sea.

That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” – Mark 4:35-41 New International Version (NIV)

I have been strong through every storm. I have often sensed God speaking to me with the words: “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

I have learned that standing strong against a storm means calling on deeply hidden faith in God. It works every time.

Grace, Memories

Forever Young

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I have been experiencing neck pain for the last few days, a reminder that the years have taken their toll. Sometimes, I have almost forgotten how it felt to live without pain. I can barely remember waking up from a night of sleep with no body aches. I don’t remember what it was like to feel young.

These days, though, pain has its way with me. It is a difficult thing to age. They say it’s not for sissies, and I completely agree with that. As Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote in Ulysses, we are “made weak by time and fate.”

But I love the thoughts of this short passage:

“Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

– Alfred Lord Tennyson
From Ulysses
(As quoted by M in Skyfall)

It is so true that I am not now “that strength which in old days moved heaven and earth.” But I am strong in spirit. My heart feels the strength of deep love. In years, I have aged. But in my soul, I am forever young. Thanks be to God.

I love the lyrics of Bob Dylan’s song, “Forever Young.”

May God bless and keep you always, May your wishes all come true.
May you always do for others, And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars, And climb on every rung.
May you stay forever young.

Forever young, forever young. May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous, May you grow up to be true.
May you always know the truth, And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous, Stand upright a
nd strong.
May you stay, stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy. May your feet always be swift.
May you have a strong foundation, When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful. May your song always be sung.
And may you stay forever young.

Beauty of Nature, Clouds

Pastel Sky, Misty Valley

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What incredible gifts we have been given! How magnificent is our world! My friend recently took this photograph of a pastel sky over a misty valley. The image moved and inspired me to give thanks for the nature that nurtures our lives.

We do not live in a colorless world. Instead we feast on brilliant sunrises, breathtaking skies, multi-hued rainbows on the horizon, mists that drop muted colors over us. We are gently caressed with pinks and blues and purples. This pastel sky reminded me to give thanks. This misty valley reminded me to offer praise to a God of grace that fills our world with color.

Nature helps me worship in special ways. It inspires me to pray and to meditate on our Creator. It moves me to tears at times and fills me with laughter at other times. God’s nature is no accident. It is created for our souls and it fills our hearts with joy. If we notice. If we take a few minutes to take it in.

All of these thoughts rose up in me when I saw this pink pastel sky over the misty valley.

Faith, God's Faithfulness, healing, Life storms, Prayer

Glory

 

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The year was 2014, the year I survived, the year so full of hard times. It all began in February with a diagnosis of end stage kidney disease. Then I was in and out of the hospital all year with complications and deadly infections. When the occupational therapist came to my room, I could not name colored blocks. At times, I did not know my own husband. I was very weak and could not walk for a time. Fortunately, much of the time I slept, not knowing how dangerously ill I really was.

I prayed a lot that year. Vulnerability brought me closer to God, the best source of help and life I knew. My church family brought food for us. My friends literally fed me and rubbed lotion on my feet. I had the invaluable help of a home health nurse, a physical therapist, and a doctor that came to my home each month. I graduated quickly from a wheel chair to a walker, and then was able to walk unassisted. Friends and family all over the world prayed for me. I am fully confident that their prayers brought me through.

Today is a new day for me. I can barely remember the hardest days of 2014. Though I still have end stage kidney disease and am on a dialysis machine eight hours everyday, I feel healthy on most days. I can eat and sleep. I can walk, cook and bathe myself. I can enjoy visiting with people without tiring out. I can go on shopping trips and buy my own groceries. I can care for my flowers and plants.

I am grateful to be alive, in awe of the way God intervened in my life and brought me back to the world I so enjoy. That’s my story. God played the major role. My husband was a close second by doing all the cooking, cleaning, washing, and especially, all the nursing care for me. I was blessed with the kind of help and support that helped me turn the corner.

William Barclay penned these words:

“Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.”

I did endure. I did see my difficult year turn into glory, the glory of friendships, the glory of family, the glory of love, hope and health.

So thank you, God. Thank you, Fred. Thank you, dear friends, family, and church family for keeping vigil with Fred and me during hard times. Thank you!

peace

Wonderful Peace

 

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A beautiful 19th Century hymn written by W.D. Cornell speaks of a peace that comes from God.

The words of “Wonderful Peace” are comforting:

Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm;
In celestial strains it unceasingly falls
O’er my soul like an infinite calm.

Peace! Peace! Wonderful peace,
Coming down from the Father above;
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray,
In fathomless billows of love.

What a treasure I have in this wonderful peace,
Buried deep in the heart of my soul,
So secure that no power can mine it away,
While the years of eternity roll!

I am resting tonight in this wonderful peace,
Resting sweetly in Jesus’ control;
For I’m kept from all danger by night and by day,
And His glory is flooding my soul!

How I long for a life of peace! It’s not so easy to accomplish. So many things get in the way . . . work, traffic, house payments, issues that demand our constant attention. And then there are the more serious robbers of peace like illness, pain, grief . . . The list could go on and on.

And yet we have a definite promise found in Scripture:

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” – John 14:27 (KJV)

I want to move closer to the kind of life that ensures that my heart is not troubled and afraid. It’s a promise I want to claim for my life. And it’s time for me to enjoy God’s wonderful peace. I hope it’s time for you, too.

Courage, Faith, God's Faithfulness, Risk

“If footmen tire you, what will horses do?”

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Many, many years ago I heard a sermon entitled, “If footmen tire you, what will horses do?” I was intrigued by the question and headed straight to the Bible to see what it was all about. I found it in Jeremiah 12:5.

If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, then how can you contend with horses? And if in the land of peace, wherein you trusted, they wearied you, then how will you do in the swelling of Jordan?

After all these years, I am still intrigued by these questions. I have asked myself similar questions many times. If I am tired out by this small task, how will I fare when the work is harder? If I complain when I have a simple illness, what will I do if a serious illness attacks me? If I am brought low by the harsh words others say about me, how will I endure a complete betrayal?

I have been through each of these life circumstances. I read and read for a word of relief. It took me all the way to Jeremiah’s 15th chapter where I found this consolation in verse 20:

Though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For I am with you to save you
And deliver you, declares the Lord.
So I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked,
And I will redeem you from the grasp of the violent.

Life has knocked me flat plenty of times. I have experienced grief, failure, betrayal, sadness. I have seen things I never wanted to see. But no matter how many times I’ve been knocked down, I always, always get up.

I learned two lessons along the way:

Don’t sweat the small stuff.
In the end, God will be with you through it all.

That’s Gospel Good News!

Dreams, Freedom, Women

Celebrate!

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I celebrate that today is a brand new day for my Granddaughter, for all little girls with big dreams. She has now seen a woman chosen as the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. When Hillary Clinton spoke night before last, I had a big lump in my throat. I felt the swelling of emotion overtake me. My body shook as I tried to hold back a full-on crying event. My eyes filled with tears.

I was watching history, and with the ears of my heart, I heard the shattering of glass. I heard the voices of Fannie Lou Hamer, Geraldine Ferraro, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott, and so many other trail-blazing women. I remembered Ida B. Wells-Barnett and Mary Church Terrell, organizers of thousands of African-American women who worked for suffrage for all women.

I thought of the words of Margaret Mead:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

Most of all, I thought about my granddaughter, Jordan, who now sees that a woman can hold this nation’s highest office. And I am grateful that she will not feel and experience all the limitations I experienced in my lifetime.

It’s a fresh, new day in America. It’s a fresh, new day in my heart. Thank you, Hillary, for standing firm in following your dream. You are among an incredible circle of women who persisted and who made change in the world for all of us. I celebrate you this day!

Faith, God's Faithfulness, Hope, Life storms

Through the Waters

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A few days ago, we were talking about the death of Muhammad Ali. Fred asked if I knew that he died of septic shock, and reminded me that I had septic shock at least three times in 2014, coming very close to death. That was a part of my journey that was filled with dangerous mile markers, some of which I was not even aware of at the time.

Fred lived it fully while I was out of it. He knows better than anyone what a danger-filled year it was. The reality is that such times are a part of live. Some of them, we survive. And that’s what happened to me in 2014. I survived the raging waters that took me near to the end of my life. I survived the fiery nights of difficulty when my temperature climbed to ominous levels.

I survived it all, and today, I feel healthy and strong on most days. For that, I am eternally grateful to God who brought me through and to Fred, who never tired on that journey. When I remember those days, this scripture always comes to mind:
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
   (Isaiah 43:2 NIV)

Silence

More Beautiful than Silence

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Sunset in Alabama. Photo by Ken Lowery
Silence is beautiful in its stark simplicity. It can be more powerful than words. In my later years of life, I have learned to be quiet. My family is often baffled by my lack of words. But I have said plenty in this lifetime, some of which I’d like to take back. Maturity has brought me the wisdom of speaking only words that have a positive impact. I have discovered by experience that negative words hurt, both the speaker and those who hear.

The Bible instructs us on this subject in Luke 6:45. “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

The instruction is a wise one. It reminds us that what is in the heart comes out in words. So the lesson really is to tend to your heart. Fill it with love and kindness and generosity. Then your mouth will speak only what is in the heart.

I am struck by this Arabic proverb: “Open your mouth only if what you are going to say is more beautiful than silence.” That is wise advice worthy to be heeded. If I speak, will my words share beauty with those who hear? Or is it better for me to be silent?

Courage, Faith, Hope, Life pathways

Choose Courage

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An ancient saying: “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow.'”

It takes courage to travel through life. Life pathways can be mysterious, even frightening at times. But they can also be beautiful and inviting, drawing us into the path, revealing its mysteries.

Yes, it does take courage to enter a blind pathway. But I can be scared and courageous all at once. Sounds impossible, doesn’t it? It is not impossible. Yet courage is not always easy.

You may wonder how to be courageous even when you’re scared. It starts by not pretending to be more courageous than you really are. It happens when you take a deep breath and move forward in spite of your fear. It happens when your dreams become more important than your terror. It happens when you’re willing to take a risk.

I wish I could tell you that if you are courageous all your problems will go away.
But I can’t.
What I can tell you is that if you choose courage you get to be free.
If you choose courage you get to watch the sunset over a beautiful beach.
If you choose courage you get to smile at strangers. You get to help others.
You get to taste life again.
(www.secondfirsts.com)

I am awaiting a kidney transplant. The thought of it is terrifying to me, and I wonder if I will have enough courage to take the risk of the surgery. At times, I think I should leave well enough alone and resign myself to a life of dialysis. At other times, I long to be free from that daily eight hour regimen. It’s hard to have long-term courage. It’s much easier be courageous for this day, just one day.

I hope I will choose courage. I hope I will be courageous enough to set myself free. I hope I will have enough courage to reach out for a better life. I hope I will travel the unknown, mysterious path. I hope I will have courage enough to dream. I hope I will be the quiet voice at the end of the day that says “I had enough courage for today. I will try again tomorrow.”

Friendship

Girlfriends

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I recently visited with my best forever friend. We had not seen one another for at least forty years. But we took up where we left off like not a day had passed. We reconnected by phone during my illness. She was there for me as she has always been.

As we begin a new journey, chart new life paths, or even face challenges on the path we are now walking, it is important that our circle of friends wraps its arms around us.

Women need other women. They always do. It is a special bond like no other. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the foundation of our life.

After living in this world for more than sixty-five years I have learned that life happens, heartbreaks come, distance separates us from those we love, our children grow up, love is fragile,careers come to a close, parents are lost, life can assail us. Melody Morgan describes it best:

Girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.

Being a woman in this world can be hard, but it’s also an incredible adventure. With the joys and sorrows that lay ahead, we need each other. Every day, we need each other.

Clouds, Contemplation, Dreams, Inspiration, Life storms

Beyond the Clouds

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Mammatus clouds over Weir, Texas. Photo by @jasonweingart.

I always wonder what I might find beyond the clouds. Literally and figuratively, there is always something hidden beneath clouds, something to make one wonder, something unknown that causes us to contemplate the beyond.

Clouds can be harbingers of storms. They can also be breathtakingly beautiful. They bring wonderment at times, if we take time to watch them. They hide what is above, making us wonder what kind of weather pattern formed them.

For me, clouds hold dreams, dreams from the past and dreams that are yet to be. Clouds bring the dreamer in me out into the open. They inspire me to contemplate life and transform my earthly thinking. They take me to a celestial realm where imagination soars. They call out to me to look up, and beyond, so that I can clearly see all things new.

I also strain to see beyond the kinds of clouds that come to me in life. I seek to find what is beyond them. I greet the storms they bring because I know that life is incomplete without its storms. I am even grateful, at times, that they give ne time to pause.

So I cherish cloudy days that paint the sky with the most magnificent art. I often rediscover God in the clouds. I imagine God in fresh, new ways. I wonder about God’s plan that included clouds. And I think that God must truly value beauty and majesty. The clouds prove that.

Contemplation, Inspiration, Prayer, Spiritual growth, Transformation

Hear Deeply

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I try to practice deep listening. It’s a time for prayer and contemplation, but also a time set aside to really listen to God, to deeply listen to God. It is a quiet time and a tranquil space, not always easy to find. But it’s so cleansing and refreshing to listen to God from the depths of your soul.

Does God speak audibly? Does God communicate with us in a way we can literally hear? Probably not. It’s more about hearing with your soul and discerning with your heart. It can take time and personal discipline. Mostly it takes a desire to truly hear the message God wants to send.

Theron lies the problem. Perhaps I hear nothing because I am afraid of what God would ask of me. Perhaps I am afraid of what God might show me about myself. Perhaps I fear the truth of God’s message to me.

My desire is to get past that fear, to open my heart to God fully and completely, to listen with the ears of my soul. I will search for the sacred space I need, the quiet, alone place that is so important. I will figure out how to find the place that nourishes my soul, the place that enables me to hear deeply. Doing that brings transformation.

Courage, Freedom, peace

Freedom

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In New York Harbor stands the statue that reminds us of freedom. She reminds us of our nation’s commitment to invite others into our special place of freedom, to encourage them to build their lives under our flag. I hope that commitment never changes. I hope that this nation will always be one that welcomes strangers.

Welcoming those who dream of living in America is the pinnacle of the word philanthropy. Philanthropy (from Greek φιλανθρωπία) means etymologically, the love of humanity, in the sense of caring, nourishing, developing, and enhancing what it means to be human. Sharing our freedom with those who come to our shores is an incredible way to show love for humanity.

I hope that freedom will always remain as an integral part of our lives as Americans. I hope that the poem of Emma Lazarus, engraved on a tablet within the pedestal on which the Statue of Liberty stands, will abide in our hearts.

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles.

From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

With silent lips.

“Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Courage, Creating, Dreams, peace, Risk

Dreamers and Misfits

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In my younger years, I was a dreamer of dreams, big dreams, impossible dreams, dreams that I had to fight for. Without a fight, the dreams would not have become reality. I was brave and fearless. I would stand my ground in front of any person trying to thwart my dream. I would face off against any obstacle.

Where did all that bravery go? When did I stop taking risks? When did I give up on dreams? When did I lose my strong resolve to help create a better world?

Aging had a role, as did illness. Yet, I cannot help but believe that somewhere beneath this exterior reality, the old dreamer and misfit still lives. I cannot help but believe that I still care about justice and hope, hope for a better future. I am convicted and inspired by the words of Bishop Steven Charleston:

It may seem odd, in this age of doubt and disillusionment, that some of us still believe in a hopeful future, a time of justice, and the power of love to overcome every evil. It may seem odd, in this epoch of technology and consumerism, that we still believe in God, in a conscious and living presence that cares for us and helps us to care for one another. It may seem odd, but there is a perfectly reasonable explanation: we believe these things because we are odd. We are the odd ones out, the misfits and dreamers, the mystics and advocates. We do not follow the party line, but step over it, together, every chance we get. – Steven Charleston

The Bible calls us pilgrims and strangers, a royal priesthood, a peculiar people. Yes, misfits as Steven Charleston says, misfits that go against the grain of the status quo. Misfits that still dream in spite of those who want to maintain the world as it is.

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light: Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.

Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.

So I want to spend my remaining years stepping over the line, taking risks in the name of love, living out of a compassionate heart, challenging the world’s evil ways, dreaming of justice, being a maker of peace, and not counting the cost. I hope you will do the same, sisters and brothers. This world needs all the misfits who still care and all the dreamers who won’t give up.

Faith, grief, Loss

Loss

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Fred and I talked recently about the year I was so sick. He said something I’ll never forget: “I thought I was going to lose you.” His words made a deep impression on me. I have known loss and the grief that comes with it. And I ached for Fred, knowing that he looked at loss squarely front of him and could not escape it.

None of us will get through this life without experiencing loss. So we have to find a way to face off with it and walk away stronger. James Taylor’s song “Fire and Rain” speaks of loss.

Won’t you look down upon me, Jesus, You’ve got to help me make a stand.
You’ve just got to see me through another day.
My body’s aching and my time is at hand and I won’t make it any other way.
Oh, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I’d see you again.

It is so true that turning to God eases loss and gives us the support we need to make it. We have several things going for us: faith, resilience, strength, courage, and a God who is ever present. With those things in place, we can face loss and come away from it whole.

Courage, Faith, healing, Spiritual growth

Wounds of the Soul

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The past and its memories can be harsh. Especially for those who have experienced great hurt. I call such hurts wounds of the soul.

After the injury ceases its pain, after the scars heal, the wounds of the soul remain. They remain forever as a reminder, not only that I was hurt, but also that I survived. I have learned not to be enslaved by my wounds. They remind me that I was stronger than the thing or the person that tried to hurt me.

How does one heal the wounds of the soul? You don’t heal them. They never go away. They remain on the soul as badges of courage and reminders of strength and perseverance. They happened in the past, of course, but they make me more mindful of the glories of the present moment.

“When we are mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh
In spite of the soul’s wounds, I am filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love. There is a part of me that is grateful for the wounds that stay with me. They make me stronger. They make me resilient. They make me wise enough to not be hurt again. I want to always remember that the soul is able to endure the wounds. The soul’s memories will always mark the time of the hurt and hold it for safekeeping. The soul will bear its wounds with grace, thankful that they make us the person we are meant to be.

I often ask myself the question “Who would you be without the wounds?”

Prayer

A Prayer

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Dear God,

Enlighten what’s dark in me.

Strengthen what’s weak in me.

Mend what’s broken in me.

Bind what’s bruised in me,

Heal what’s sick in me.

And lastly,

Revive whatever peace and love has died in me.

Amen

Beauty of Nature, Inspiration, simple joys

Wow!

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Boston Fern in my yard

Wow! Not the most eloquent thought for a writer. Nevertheless, “wow” is the best word I can come up with for a day with bright sunshine and gentle, cooling breezes. And I don’t even have to leave home to enjoy the beauty of nature. Flowers are blooming all around my house. Lush ferns are swaying with the wind. The leaves of the Chinese Tallow tree are glistening in the sun.

I am grateful to God for the wild and free beauty in nature, a Creation extraordinaire, available for our enjoyment. I am amazed at the shining stars at night, at the luminous moon, at the rising and setting of the sun. There is enough in this marvelous world to astound me beyond measure. All I need do is pause for a moment to take it all in.

Lord Byron penned eloquent words that express the love of nature.

There is pleasure in the pathless woods:
There is rapture on the lonely shore:
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
There is society, where none intrudes.
I love not man the less, but Nature more.

So it’s very true: “Wow!” Is not eloquent. But it really is accurate.