Category: Contemplation

Change, Contemplation, Home, Life pathways, Suffering

Making It All the Way Home

Rev Kathy

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“Close your eyes and follow your breath to the still place that leads to the invisible path that leads you home.”

~ St. Teresa of Avila

With aging, I have experienced an emotional and spiritual “returning home.” The years have brought a sense of well-being in some very real ways. It happens to us all, I think, as we follow the usual life paths of grief, loss, fear, hopelessness, and yes, joy. The difficult paths are the important ones, in fact. Each assault, each time of suffering, makes us seek who we really are inside.

In a conversation last night, I made this comment:

The passing years are taking some of my intensity away. I now see my younger self as a very different person than who I am today, looking back on the years in which I was driven to save the world. But I’m happy that the frenetic drive has lessened for me over the years. If I had not settled down, I think I would have died. And the kidney disease year had a profound impact on the person I used to be. I miss myself sometimes, but mostly I’m very grateful to have relaxed.

The beginning of a brand new year brings a pensive season for me, a time when I want to know myself, my real self. My self-assessment, then and now, reveals how I eventually made it through life’s chaos to the serene present. So I am happy that I made it all the way home to this place, this still and holy place that nurtures my life.

Contemplation, Prayer, Spiritual growth

Washing the Spirit Clean

Rev Kathy

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It is a worthy intention, to wash my spirit clean. How freeing it would be to move all the messy stuff from my soul and to feel cleansed. The Psalmist prayed, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

How do I even begin? A good start would be prayer, contemplation, reading prayers in Scripture, walking in the forest, making some time for silence. For me, singing hymns cleanses my soul and nurtures my heart. The writing of John Muir also suggests a path to soul cleansing. John Muir, also known as “John of the Mountains”, was a Scottish-American naturalist, author, environmental philosopher and early advocate of preservation of wilderness in the United States. Millions of people have read his letters, essays, and books telling of his adventures in nature, especially in the Sierra Nevada of California. These are his words.

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.

Keep close to Nature’s heart . . . break clear away once in awhile..climb a mountain..spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.

― John Muir, The Mountains of California

It’s a continuous effort, washing the spirit clean. It’s a necessary spiritual discipline. It opens us up to a life renewed and refreshed.

Contemplation

It’s So Quiet Here!

Rev Kathy

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It’s not unusual for us to comment, “It’s so quiet here!” Our lovely neighborhood is very serene, a great place to live. When we go outdoors, we can hear the hummingbirds. We don’t hear traffic, or dogs barking, or children playing. We don’t hear trains. Now and then, we may hear a clap of thunder or the falling of rain. We may hear planes flying overhead or the sound of lawn mowers.

But quiet can be disconcerting. We tend to immerse ourselves in activity, avoiding stillness, resisting silent moments of contemplation. Entering into quiet times can sometimes bring unwelcome thoughts and fears that are held at bay when we’re immersed in the noise of busyness. It happens for me at times. When I get quiet, my thoughts sometimes entertain those things that I most fear.

Still, quiet times can also be strengthening times. Quiet moments can bring peace and serenity. So, all in all, I am grateful for the quiet times in my life in these days of retirement. It’s a different experience that follows a career full of activity, overachievement and constant work.

We live a very quiet life. It’s quiet enough to hear the chirping birds and the buzzing bees. And it’s quiet enough to hear God’s voice. Maybe God has been waiting for my life to get quiet. Maybe It makes God happy to know that I can now hear the gentle prompting of the Spirit. Maybe I will hear things I have never heard before. Maybe God’s voice will be clearer to me than it ever has been.

Contemplation, peace, Prayer, Self care

Oh no! Mercury is in Retrograde!

Rev Kathy

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My friend, Martie, is always the first to sound the dire warning, “Oh no! Mercury is in retrograde.” She announces it with such emphasis that you believe her prediction and heed her advice. This phenomenon is one of the few that affects everyone in a fairly uniform way, and its effects are always obvious. Once you begin to pay attention to how events in your life change during these phases, you will soon see how important it is to take note of them.

I won’t go into detail about what Mercury is actually doing. You can look it up online if you’re interested. I’ll simply report that The Huffington Post confirms it: “The planetary cosmos has an evil plot to make your life go crazy from August 30 to September 22. It’s called Mercury Retrograde.”

The critical advice from all the best sources boils down to these ten points:

1. Don’t Make Agreements. It’s a horrible time for negotiating contracts or making decisions.

2. Don’t Accept or Start a Job. If you do, you may regret it.

3. Don’t Try to Close the Sale. Closing a deal is often based on taking advantage of great timing. Unfortunately, you’re timing couldn’t be worse when Mercury is retrograde.

4. Don’t Initiate New Projects.

5. Scheduling Meetings. Avoid (or minimize) scheduling meetings and events during Mercury retrograde, because you’re more likely to experience confusion, mistakes and cancellations.

6. Avoid Traveling A Lot. If you can’t put certain trips on hold, just be aware that you can expect an unusual amount of last-minute flight cancellations, meeting postponements and long transportation delays.

7. Don’t Purchase Computers or Begin Installations. This is when you’ll discover that you bought the “computer from hell.”

8. Don’t Repair Your Auto unless you absolutely have to.

9. Don’t Buy Things.

10. Don’t Select a Roommate or Move in With One.

So if you believe the planetary situation, you’ll basically lay low between August 30 and September 22. It may be a good time for recharging your batteries, taking care of your soul, contemplating all that is good in life, spending some time listening to God, otaking some deep breaths and gathering your strength.

That’s what I plan to do.

Contemplation, Life pathways, Spiritual growth

What I Miss

Rev Kathy

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There is still ministry in me. There are sermons still in me, and prayers yet unprayed. That is the most difficult part of being a retired minister. When colleagues laid their hands on me in ordination, that was a calling I took seriously. It was a lifelong calling, one that began with a still, small voice urging me to say “yes.”

I still live under that call to ministry, even though I am not actively serving. So I struggle to find my place. I long to once again be buried in acts of ministry. And I wonder what God has in mind for my retirement. Sometimes I even wonder if God remembers my call to ministry.

What does one do when the phone stops ringing? What does one do when invitations to preach or teach stop? These are questions I cannot adequately answer. But I do find solace in the truth that God is still present with me. I find comfort that God still places words in me and that I can share them in my writing.

Still, I envy my colleagues who are immersed in ministry positions. I miss them. I miss the work. I miss the way God worked within me to reach out to persons who needed to hear the Good News. I miss the hymns of praise and the prayers of confession. I miss the aroma of candlelit sanctuaries and the hum of a worshipping congregation.

And so my prayer for this day is “God, teach me how to be retired.”

Contemplation, peace, Serenity, Silence

Sitting in My Own Silence

Rev Kathy

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It’s a day with no words. I have contemplated hope, grace, kindness, worry, faith. And yet I have nothing to say. Perhaps my lesson is to listen, to sit in the middle of my own silence, to wait on words from God. And so today, I recommend to you a time of quiet meditation sitting in your own silence.

I think our deepest love finds its voice when we have run out of words to express it. There is no language that can capture what a lifetime has brought to be, the private journey of a single soul through the twists and turns of time. We are the sum of what we feel when feeling defies reason and runs to places no logic has ever seen. As careful as we are to wear our masks among the crowd, alone we know the untamed extravagance of a spirit that wants to care more than to control. So let us, each one, in silence share our truth, seeing in one another’s eyes the mirror of our own silent story.   – Steven Charleston

Words are not always needed. Apparently I need to rest in this present reality. Perhaps I need to refresh and refuel and allow something fresh and new to rise up in me. Until then I have no riveting subject to write about, no words to share. And that’s okay.

“In Silence there is eloquence. Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves.”

― Rumi

Contemplation, Dreams, peace, Serenity

Serenity . . . The Peace of God

Rev Kathy

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Even in retirement, I find it difficult to set aside quiet hours, hours of peace and serenity. I tend to get caught up in current politics, the news of the day, and all of the interruptions that come up. Yet, I need quiet time. I need times of reflection and contemplation. It is during those quiet times that I find the peace of God. I find serenity and find myself dreaming new dreams again.

Bishop Steven Charleston writes about the gift of God’s peace that waits “beyond the clam our of the day.”

Quiet the hours that surround us, still the moments through which we pass. The peace of God is a gift, freely given, to any and to all, waiting just beyond the clamor of the day, available to whoever will receive it. No illness or strife, no worry or hurt can keep this calm hand from reaching us, no distance, no time. The feeling of what is holy is serenity, an assurance that love will never be lost, that mercy is as certain as forgiveness, that none of us has walked this way without reason. Heaven waits behind closed eyes, the other world of what is now, the blessing we were born to live.

Indeed, we were born to live this blessing and to find what is holy in our times of serenity. And so I work to keep out distractions and worries, reaching out for the calm hand of God.

Clouds, Contemplation, Dreams, Inspiration, Life storms

Beyond the Clouds

Rev Kathy
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Mammatus clouds over Weir, Texas. Photo by @jasonweingart.

I always wonder what I might find beyond the clouds. Literally and figuratively, there is always something hidden beneath clouds, something to make one wonder, something unknown that causes us to contemplate the beyond.

Clouds can be harbingers of storms. They can also be breathtakingly beautiful. They bring wonderment at times, if we take time to watch them. They hide what is above, making us wonder what kind of weather pattern formed them.

For me, clouds hold dreams, dreams from the past and dreams that are yet to be. Clouds bring the dreamer in me out into the open. They inspire me to contemplate life and transform my earthly thinking. They take me to a celestial realm where imagination soars. They call out to me to look up, and beyond, so that I can clearly see all things new.

I also strain to see beyond the kinds of clouds that come to me in life. I seek to find what is beyond them. I greet the storms they bring because I know that life is incomplete without its storms. I am even grateful, at times, that they give ne time to pause.

So I cherish cloudy days that paint the sky with the most magnificent art. I often rediscover God in the clouds. I imagine God in fresh, new ways. I wonder about God’s plan that included clouds. And I think that God must truly value beauty and majesty. The clouds prove that.

Contemplation, Inspiration, Prayer, Spiritual growth, Transformation

Hear Deeply

Rev Kathy

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I try to practice deep listening. It’s a time for prayer and contemplation, but also a time set aside to really listen to God, to deeply listen to God. It is a quiet time and a tranquil space, not always easy to find. But it’s so cleansing and refreshing to listen to God from the depths of your soul.

Does God speak audibly? Does God communicate with us in a way we can literally hear? Probably not. It’s more about hearing with your soul and discerning with your heart. It can take time and personal discipline. Mostly it takes a desire to truly hear the message God wants to send.

Theron lies the problem. Perhaps I hear nothing because I am afraid of what God would ask of me. Perhaps I am afraid of what God might show me about myself. Perhaps I fear the truth of God’s message to me.

My desire is to get past that fear, to open my heart to God fully and completely, to listen with the ears of my soul. I will search for the sacred space I need, the quiet, alone place that is so important. I will figure out how to find the place that nourishes my soul, the place that enables me to hear deeply. Doing that brings transformation.

Contemplation

No Words

Rev Kathy

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Today, I have no words, at least none that seem meaningful. I have learned not to struggle with my writing, but instead to let it be what it is. Today it is nothingness. Expressions won’t come to me. Phrases are forced. So it is time to simply be quiet, to let my spirit speak to me, and to refrain from doing all the talking. So I’ll cross the bridge ahead quietly, silently, embracing the peaceful quiet of the morning sky and the dark ripples of the river that flows below.

I think our deepest love finds its voice when we have run out of words to express it. There is no language that can capture what a lifetime has brought to be, the private journey of a single soul through the twists and turns of time. We are the sum of what we feel when feeling defies reason and runs to places no logic has ever seen. As careful as we are to wear our masks among the crowd, alone we know the untamed extravagance of a spirit that wants to care more than to control. So let us, each one, in silence share our truth, seeing in one another’s eyes the mirror of our own silent story.

Bishop Steven Charleston

Contemplation, God's Faithfulness

Psst!

Rev Kathy

 

imageStout’s Point, Petitjean State Perk, Arkansas

Psst! Sometimes it seems that God is so quiet toward us that we can barely hear. Maybe he uses “psst!” To get our attention. Which means we have to be listening to hear God’s voice. In my experience, God does not shout. God simply prompts very quietly, as if he wants us to learn more about paying attention.

God can be maddeningly hard to get. Sometimes we have these encounters when God breaks into our lives with power and answers our prayers. In those times, God waters the garden of our faith, making it lush and green. And then there are seasons when an unrelenting silence descends. We cry to God in our confused anguish and God just seems silent, absent.

The holy is not loud. It is more like a still, small voice that speaks to us when we are attuned to it. And that’s the secret, I think, being attuned to the holy moments, waiting patiently for God to nudge us, listening carefully lest we hear a holy “psst!”

To be in that listening place, we must clear our lives of everyday chaos. We must be attentive to our spiritual journey. And we must spend some time in prayer and contemplation. Sounds straightforward, but it is not that easy for those of us with full schedules and multiple responsibilities.

The bottom line, though, is this: I want to hear from God. I want to be still and quiet enough to to hear God, even if God’s only utterance is a holy “psst!” If I hear that, we can go on from there to grander communication. And that’s so important!

Contemplation, Faith

By the Light of the Moon

Rev Kathy

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Just a few days ago, April 22, the moon was full and so beautiful. It’s comforting to know that you can count on the moon to wax and wane according to schedule. And yet, every common moon is miracle to me, its beauty mesmerizing for me every time I see it.

It’s my job to notice it, to never take it for granted, to see it with eyes that are open to miraculous sights. It is completely my job to sit under its light and to allow it to enlighten my small world. It’s my soul work to allow the moonlight to illumine my contemplation and to inspire me to a better life.

Most of all, it is up to me to thank God for the moon and all creation, given to us to enrich our existence. The Psalmist expresses it best:
To God who made the great lights,
For God’s lovingkindness is everlasting:
The sun to rule by day,
For God’s lovingkindness is everlasting,
The moon and stars to rule by night,
For God’s lovingkindness is everlasting.

Psalm 136:7-9 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

“By the light of the silvery moon,” the title of a song published in 1909, always reminds me of the ethereal color when the full moon lights the sky. Gazing upon it is a special life experience, not to be missed. When I lift up my eyes toward the light of the moon, I always contemplate the astounding handiwork of God and give thanks.

Contemplation, Gardening for the Soul

The Peace of God

Rev Kathy

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Anxiety overrules contentment. In fact, anxiety can easily have its way in our lives, making a shambles of all that we have accomplished. We humans spend a great deal of time building our comfortable nests, making life a positive experience.

I am expending my energy on my flower garden. It’s filled with ferns and flowers that give me positive energy. I can breathe deeply in my garden, exhaling all the cares and toils that come my way. I am happy in my garden, and it is a place of solitude and peace.

Anxiety can wreck it for me, so I do all that I can to hold anxiety at bay. There are several things that make me anxious, including my health and the possibility of a kidney transplant. But anxiety adds nothing good to my life. Instead, I work hard to fill my spirit with peacefulness. It is the peace of God that guards my heart and mind.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV