Author: Rev Kathy

There are times when we are downhearted. There are days that are treacherous and hard to bear. I have a friend of many years who suffers most every day with chronic, unceasing physical pain. The physical pain exacerbates her emotional and spiritual pain. Of course, she has many questions about God and faith, about how God helps those with great need, or even if God helps at all.

My ordination and my years of pastoral care experience does not mean that I have had ready answers for her. Sometimes any answers I have to give are woefully inadequate. So I have searched my own heart and explored my own faith. And I Reach the same conclusion every time. For me, the comfort is tucked in these scripture verses in the fourth chapter of 2 Corinthians.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Most importantly for me is to not lose heart and to believe that in this earthen vessel dwells the treasure of faith.

For the past few says, dark clouds have hovered over my world. I can’t even put my finger on the real cause. I know only that I have not felt well physically, and that usually opens the door for questioning, concern, worry, and in general, things that bring me down.

These days, I worry that I will lose strength and become unable to engage in daily activities. I worry about how I will respond to the surgery and recovery of a kidney transplant. I worry that a donor kidney will not be available. I worry that the complete weakness I experienced during my last hospital stay will assail me again.

And yet, I need to look more intently at the reality. Most of the time, I do feel well. I am involved in a daily exercise program. And I am able to do several things I enjoy. Most importantly, I cling tightly to faith that can overcome every concern.

In the 18th Century, Jean Pierre Caussade wrote this about faith: “How ever dark the clouds may be, faith breaks through to truth, holds fast to it, and never lets it go.”

That is a message that has remained true through the years. It stands the test of time. It gives me the spiritual strength to move forward, in spite of a life that has its ups and downs.

Hakuna Matata! No Worries! It’s a motto I want to live by.

Sometimes I think of the movie “Sleepless in Seattle.” It’s usually when I am in my bed with my eyes wide open hoping that sleep will come. Those are times of worry and frustration. I worry about my son. I miss my grandchildren. I wonder why I ever left my home in Little Rock. I wonder if I will ever find my way around Macon neighborhoods. I worry about having a kidney transplant. I worry about not having a kidney transplant.

And I am not really a worrier!

Always in times like these, the scripture in Matthew 6 comes to mind:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

How true it is that each day has enough trouble of its own! I think it’s usually a choice we have to make: refusing to worry about tomorrow. Hakuna Matata!

“A gem cannot be polished without friction. Nor can a person be perfected without trials.”  – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I don’t know about you, but I am no stranger to friction. Life has been full of it, and I feel pretty darn polished at this point in my life. People can define their friction in several ways: illness, strained relationships, failed marriages, loss of financial security. In other words, friction is defined as the trials that life hands out to each of us.

The good news is that we do survive our trials. In fact, we have survived 100 percent of our worst days. We pick ourselves up off the ground, dust ourselves off, and then we move on to face the next challenge. In the process, we are perfected. It’s Gospel good news for us, news we really need to hear.

Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters,when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)

And just for good measure, I offer you the Good News Translation (GNT) of the same text:

My friends, consider yourselves fortunate when all kinds of trials come your way, for you know that when your faith succeeds in facing such trials, the result is the ability to endure. Make sure that your endurance carries you all the way without failing, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

So I plan to face off against life’s trials with confidence and courage, considering myself fortunate, counting it all joy!

In his book, The Silence of Unknowing,  Terence Grant writes this:

God comes so we might finally get the picture of the incredible love that has always been given to us. The only real problem here is that we don’t believe this good news. In fact, it’s too good to be true. And because we don’t believe that such a love can exist for us or for others, we hold on to grudges, we repay hurts, we destroy relationships, we commit acts of violence and war. We remain enslaved in negative places.

It is our personal spiritual experience that takes on a path that leads to our liberation from anger and fear, the kind of anger and fear that builds up within us as we pass through life’s obstacles. You might remember the lion in The Wizard of Oz. He was constantly roaring in anger, but eventually we got to know him and learned that underneath the angry roaring was fear.

How wonderful it would be to be liberated from anger and fear. And yet, we live in the kind of world that attacks our soul, takes us to the point of anger, and fills us up with fear. Frederick Buechner writes, “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”

So do we stay connected to grudges and hurts, destroyed relationships, violence, abuse, war, general nastiness, and a plethora of other negative things? Do we express anger to hide the fear that is really underneath it? Do we continue to separate ourselves from the God who can do nothing but love…. not being able to accept such love or even understand it?

There is for us a very special promise: As it was from the beginning, God is forever reaching out to us, offering us liberation from anger and fear, forever waiting for our return.

“God’s gonna trouble the water.”

The song, “Wade in the Water,” relates to both the Old and New Testaments. The verses reflect the Israelites’ escape out of Egypt as found in Exodus:14. The chorus — “Wade in the water, children; God’s gonna trouble the water” — refers to healing: “For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had.” (John 5:4)

When I am in trouble, I want to get waist-deep in God’s water and let the healing come. I want to watch for the troubling of the water and then I want to step in it and be made whole. Yes, some people might say it sounds like a fairy tale. Some may call it a magic trick. I prefer to think of it as one of God’s mysteries that can change a life in an instant. I prefer to believe it is a miracle of God, pure and simple.

So when I experience pain, my prayer is “God, trouble the water.” When I experience grief, my prayer is,”God, trouble the water.” When I experience fear, I will pray, “God, trouble the water.” When I am beside myself with troubles, I believe with all my heart that God’s gonna trouble the water so that when I step in, I will be cleansed! Amen.

Listen to “Wade in the Water” on YouTube at this link:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?autoplay=1&v=4UiXSG05s4c

“Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” (Jack Canfield)

The trick is to get to that other side where fear is behind us, holding us back no more. Fear rises up out of several emotions — low self esteem, a crisis of confidence, indecision. All are conditions that can give rise to paralyzing fear that decimates our noblest dreams.

Consider some of the situations in life when fear stopped you in your tracks. I remember one career opportunity in particular that I passed up because of unreasonable fear. Not taking that job changed the course of my life. I have always wondered how different my life might have been if I had followed that path. There is no doubt in my mind that the path I did not take would have made my life so much richer and fuller.

But the only thing worse than fear is regret, so I will leave that flawed decision behind me and move forward. And I intend to move forward without fear. “Fear is an idea-crippling,experience- crushing, success-stalling inhibitor inflicted only by yourself.” So says Stephanie Melish.

How right she is about the negative power of fear. The problem is that because we are living our fears, we are not living our dreams. So let’s make a pact to get a handle on our fears so that life can be powered by our noblest dreams.

The gospel singer and recording artist, Wintley Phipps, offers a very encouraging word:

“In the quiet crucible of your personal, private sufferings, your noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given in compensation for what you have been through.”

Please listen to “It Is Well with My Soul” presented by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at this link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C-wd5FH3ANA

I posted this in March. As we commemorate the tragedy of 9/11, I want to repost this with the prayer that all of us will join hands and hearts to repair the world.

“In Judaism, we call it ‘tikkun olam,’ repairing the world.”

That statement was in a message I received yesterday from a good friend. What a wonderful phrase, tikkun olam, repairing the world! Her comment intrigued me and made me sad, all at once, because what we so desperately need in these days is to repair the world.

I think first of the brash, inconsiderate, racist and harmful comments and actions that are marking our presidential race.

I consider that 4.6 million Syrians are refugees, and 6.6 million are displaced within Syria. Half of those are children

I consider that in 2016 there were 2,305 deaths in the U.S. caused by gun violence, and that 611 children and teens were killed or injured.

I consider the health tragedy in Flint, Michigan, where 6,000 to 12,000 children have been exposed to drinking water with high levels of lead which cause then to experience a range of serious health problems. The corrosive Flint River water caused lead from aging pipes to leach into the water supply, causing extremely elevated levels of the heavy metal.

I consider that the tone of our country sounds more like raising walls than like building bridges.

I consider that gentleness, love and kindness seem to be rare among us.

Oh, that we had the courage, the knowledge and the power to repair the world!

We harm our world in so many different ways.

Isaiah 61:4 speaks of days of old that feel much like our days. “Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, They will raise up the former devastations; And they will repair the ruined cities, The desolations of many generations.”

May God grant that we will not continue in the path that might be described “the desolations of many generations.” May our generation find the will and the way to repair the world . . . Tikkun olam.

Everything? Really? Even the bad stuff?

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says “In everything give thanks . . .”

Sometimes that’s easier said than done. Life assaults us regularly with illness, financial difficulties, harmful relationships, and all manner of obstacles. Giving thanks for God’s blessings is easy. Giving thanks during difficult times is much harder. And yet, the Bible clearly teaches that we can indeed be thankful, no matter what the circumstance we face.

What kind of devout faith does it take to give thanks when we experience loss? What is it within me that can express thankfulness when we are grieving?

The gospel song “In Everything Give Thanks” by Donna Alley offers inspiration from the story of Job, a devout man who lost everything of value to him. With his life in shambles, Job said, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.” (Job 13:15)

These are the lyrics of Donna Alley’s song:

In everything give Him thanks, give Him thanks.
In everything give Him thanks.
In the good times praise His name;
In the bad times do the same;
In everything give the King of Kings all the thanks.

With all the good things that had come his way,
Is it any wonder you could hear Job say,
“The Lord giveth and He taketh away…I’ll still give Him thanks.”
But when the tables were all turned around,
And Job’s world came crashing down,
His faith in God caused Job to say “I’ll still give Him thanks.”

Take a few minutes to hear this song presented by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir at this link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UN4rwsAQfyU

Why stay earth-bound when you can fly? An interesting question! When I ask people how their day was, I get one very common answer: “Same ol’ same ol,'” meaning things are the same as usual. We expect our days to be mundane and ordinary. We do not expect brilliantly stunning happenings to mark our days.

It’s a shame, really, to face life with such dismal expectations. What if we could make ourselves expect extraordinary events? What if we could anticipate good news days ore often? What if we felt we could spread our imaginary wings and fly off into a glorious sunset?

I guess this is a blog about fantasy, not very practical, for sure. And yet, our spirits often want to soar, to rise above our problems and challenges, to lift ourselves up in a cloud of stunning hope. So I ask myself: what can I do on this very day to escape the things that hold me down? What if I want to fly above the earth, feeling the wind in my face?

I had very few inadequate answers, of course. I could think of only a few few uncommon activities designed to help me escape. But I did think of a few . . . watching a brilliant sunset, sitting out at night and gazing at the stars, watching a river meander across a green valley, walking among the cherry blossoms.

In the end, I decided to at least dream of bright days and star-filled nights. And I decided to think on one of my favorite quotes: “She took the leap of faith and grew her wings on the way down.”

I stood at my kitchen window this morning for at least fifteen minutes, not making a move, so that I could watch the beautiful purple finch at my feeder. I took a couple of very bad photos. But mostly I just stood perfectly still so I wouldn’t scare him away.

I love purple finches. Their song sounds sweet to me. It’s described as “rich, slurred warbling.” Finch songs include the “warbling song,” a fast, rising and falling string of 6-23 notes often sung while flocking. Males usually sing a “territory song” that begins with a few notes on the same pitch before breaking into warbling and ending with a high, emphatic note.

Enough trivia about finches! It’s probably more than you wanted to know.

The point is, watching them relaxes me immensely. It takes me out of myself and transports me into nature’s art gallery where sheer beauty abounds. I forget myself for a few minutes, leaving all my cares behind.

The Purple Finch is the bird that Roger Tory Peterson famously described as a “sparrow dipped in raspberry juice.” I love that description. It reminds me of the many hues that God uses to paint the world, colors that exist to lift us up from the mundane grays of our lives.

A wonderful escape!

Last night was a starry night, a sky full of brilliantly twinkling stars. There’s nothing like a ride through country roads if you like watching stars. Fred and I talked about his very brightly the stars shine in the country where no city lights mask their beauty. And the temperature? It couldn’t have been a more pleasant, springtime evening.

How wonderful it is to be able to enjoy springtime and starlight, both at once. It marks the beginning of a fresh, new season. The breezes are warm. The fragrance of spring blossoms fill the air. The stars twinkle in the sunset sky. Front porches are occupied again as people enjoy the spring weather. Finches and other birds make their way to feeders filled with fresh seed. The trees begin to bud. Daffodils, crocuses and red poppies break through the ground, filling fields with color. And one might even experience a fair amount of sneezing from the swirling pollen.

In spite of the pollen, springtime is definitely a time to celebrate new beginnings, to thank God for yet another season of mild weather, to enjoy watching nature starting over. This year I plan to enjoy several evenings of springtime and starlight.

I learned today that March is National Kidney Month. The truth is that I don’t need a special month to focus on my kidneys. I am focused on my failed kidneys pretty much every day while I await word that there is a donor kidney available for me. The estimated wait time is five years, so I need to try to avoid so much focus on my kidneys and on all the daily dialysis hours that intrude on my days.

What I really need to focus on is myself, my soul that often shrinks into little depressive moments. Thomas Moore’s bestselling book, Care of the Soul, offers a revolutionary approach to thinking about daily life situations. Moore writes about a therapeutic lifestyle that focuses on looking more deeply into emotional problems and learning how to sense sacredness in ordinary things. Care of the Soul is thoughtful, eloquent and inspiring, filled with thoughts that can enhance the ways we care for the soul within us.

Caring for our souls demands that we view the everyday events of life through a religious and spiritual lens. The reality is that there is no problem, illness, or difficult life situation that doesn’t have the power to grab hold of the soul, squeezing the very life from it. Our spiritual and personal work is to recognize that, to caress our souls with tenderness, to open ourselves up to the gentle healing of God.

At times, all of us need to nourish and nurture our souls. At other times, we may even need to repair souls that are damaged by life’s slings and arrows. Yes, God does care about the health of my kidneys. But I have a strong feeling that God cares even more about the well being of my soul.

The Psalmist has words of wisdom for us:
“He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.”

Walking beside still waters, watching a gentle rain, listening to birdsong . . . whatever you find inspiring, let it restore your soul.

Poet Nick Frederickson wrote these words: “So, I close my heart to old ends and open my heart to new beginnings.”

Being on the waiting list for a kidney transplant is definitely a new beginning for me. It may well be a very long wait, five years they tell me. At my age, a kidney donor may be found too late for me, meaning that I will continue on daily dialysis throughout my life. So I have to struggle with my doctor’s words of reality that being on dialysis will shorten my life and offer less quality of life.

So this new beginning is fraught with unanswered questions and uncertainty. Unbecoming for a fresh new beginning! And yet, I still compare these days to the many days I spent hospitalized in 2014. Today is so much better. I can walk again. I ride my exercise bike. I draw and paint. I write. I gain inspiration for the tiny life blessings that come my way, and I feel grateful to be alive.

I have closed my heart to “old ends” and they don’t hurt me anymore. My heart is closed to feelings of failure about the end of my nonprofit organization, Safe Places. I am grateful that we had eleven very successful years and that we helped many people.

My heart is closed to the harsh betrayals of people I thought were my friends. I have moved on to some wonderful new friends.

My heart is closed to my inability to help victims of violence on a daily basis. I actually still hear from people who need my help and I am able to continue this ministry.

I have closed my heart to the time when I lost my ability to even write down my ABCs. Now I write an inspirational blog every day that has gotten thousands of views.

Literally hundreds of friends are praying for me. A few good friends and family members are coming forth as potential kidney donors. Who can ask for a better new beginning than that?
“Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” – Revelation 21:5 (ESV)

What enslaves you? What keeps you from experiencing the freedom that God wants you to enjoy? For some, the binding chains are financial problems. Others are bound by family issues, failing health, aging, addictions, a difficult career, depression . . . the list could go on and on.

I have my own set of chains that hold me captive. One of those chains is missing my grandchildren that live so far from me. I am bound by the depression that sometimes descends upon me when I think of not being able to spend time with them. It is a chain that feels like isolation and loneliness.

Another binding chain holds me in the prison of chronic illness. End stage kidney failure has me literally bound with dialysis tubing for eight hours each day. The enslavement, though, is much more than tubes. It is learning to live with a constant illness that can easily rob me of quality of life. It is waiting for a donor kidney that may never come. This is a chain that sometimes feels like helplessness and hopelessness.

My prayer goes like this: “Release me, O God, that I may find freedom. Break the chains of loneliness and hopelessness that hold me captive. Set me free through your amazing grace.”

That prayer is so much more than words. It is literally the only way to break the chains that hold me captive. And it is the grace of our great Liberator that bursts those chains. I imagine myself rising from my knees and, with tears of gratitude, singing with all my heart, “my chains are gone, I’ve been set free!”

The Psalmist expresses this in Psalm 107:10-14 (NASB):

There were those who dwelt in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Prisoners in misery and chains,
Because they had rebelled against the words of God
And spurned the counsel of the Most High.
Therefore He humbled their heart with labor;
They stumbled and there was none to help.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;
He saved them out of their distresses.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death
And broke their bonds apart.

Please spend a few minutes listening to “Amazing Grace” with “My Chains Are Gone” by Brigham Young University female ensemble, Noteworthy, at this link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X6Mtpk4jeVA

The hope of Jesus is downright scandalous. First of all, that scandalous hope is available to every person that seeks it. Secondly, it is, as President Obama wrote, completely audacious because it is so much more than an optimistic belief that all will be well. It is, rather, doggedly believing that even if all does not end well, we will endure and refuse to be destroyed.

In his book The Scandalous Gospel of Jesus, Peter Gomes writes this:

Hope is not merely the optimistic view that somehow everything will turn out all right in the end if everyone just does as we do. Hope is the more rugged, the more muscular view that even if things don’t turn out all right and aren’t all right, we endure through and beyond the times that disappoint or threaten to destroy us.

The hymn says “my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” And it is so true that genuine Gospel hope sets us squarely on a solid rock, now and forevermore. My dependence upon good luck and granted wishes is not what hope is about. My hope is a living, breathing promise right out of a scandalous Gospel that claims unbridled faith in Jesus the Christ.

Please take a few moments to listen to a choral rendition of “The Solid Rock” at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bWjb_6MzwY&sns=em

How would things change for us if we spent time caring for our souls? Everhard Arnold wrote these words:

The miracle of God comes not only from above; it also comes through us; it is also dwelling in us. It has been given to every person, and it lies in every soul as something divine, and it waits. Calling, it waits for the hour when the soul shall open itself, having found its God and its home. When this is so, the soul will not keep its wealth to itself, but will let it flow out into the world.

How wonderful to contemplate that the miracle of God “lies in every soul.” How amazing it is to come to that hour when our soul opens itself fully to God!

It should give us pause if we fail to spend soulful moments nurturing that miracle within us. Instead may each of us spend time caring for our souls and searching for the divine that lives inside of us. What a joy that would be!

Most of us need inspiration to endure the mundane parts of life. We need to see things not only as they are in physical form, but also to see things as holy and sacred. We need to see things as a part of God’s creation given to us to fill our lives with beauty. In some ways, a tree is not just a tree, it is a little piece of nature’s grace.

When I was a young child, my life was filled with the fear of family violence. My home was not a safe place for me. So I would seek refuge under a huge magnolia tree in our yard. I honestly believed that the tree sheltered me and kept me hidden from danger. So I grew up with a strong affinity for trees. I have always had a kind of relationship with trees, and under their sheltering canopy, I found protection from harm.

Yes, it was a childhood fantasy. When I grew up, I learned that a tree cannot really protect me. But I did carry with me some emotions about trees from my childhood, and I consider trees to be my personal sacred spaces. It works for me in all sorts of ways. Actual living trees, of course, are the strongest comforters. But I look at photographs of trees. I enjoy art that pictures trees. And I love drawing and painting them.

Perhaps it seems like a quirky thing. But for me it’s more like an inspiration, nature’s grace for my difficult days

Small prints available. 8 X 10 inch signed prints on linen paper. Two prints currently available. Each print is $12 with free shipping. Order at kathymfindley@gmail.com.

“THE GENTLE FOREST”    $12

“A GLIMPSE OF SPRING”    $12