Author: Rev Kathy

If you plan on giving up something for Lent, today is your last day of indulgence. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the Christian holy day that marks the beginning of Lent, a 40-day journey that is considered preparation for Holy Week and the celebration of Easter.

The idea behind giving up something for Lent is based on Luke 9:23: “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” It is about self denial, carrying our cross and following Jesus. Lenten discipline is something that’s done in a prayerful way, so that we can wholly renew ourselves in Christ.

I am reminded of the Scripture that should be the focus of Lent, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

Perhaps rather than giving up chocolate or some other indulgence, we should give up ten minutes every day and spend that time praying or reading the Bible.

Perhaps we should spend time every week serving others. Perhaps we could write a brief Lenten meditation every day.

Whatever we give up for Lent, or whatever discipline we add to our lives, our prayer should be that God would create in us clean hearts and renew right spirits within us. My hope is to avoid a flippant decision that seems more like a New Year’s resolution. Instead, I want to walk the forty days of the Lenten Journey with awareness and reverence, using this forty day journey as an opportunity for spiritual transformation.

There’s a popular Gospel hymn entitled, “When the Morning Comes.” It’s an upbeat, happy hymn that talks about the coming of God’s ultimate morning, the morning “when all the saints are gathered home.” Along with that hymn, I think of the Scripture that says, “Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

When I am feeling down, I always rest on the reality that after every difficult and dark night, morning dawns, bringing with it a lightened mood. It’s a cherished promise to lean on when life seems filled with challenges and obstacles. It’s good to know that it really is true that joy comes in the morning.

That thought has helped me get through many hard days and long nights. I especially remembered that promise during the time I was so sick and so concerned about my future. I remembered it when I watched the extreme worry of my husband during the many months of my illness. I remembered it even during the times when my faith was waning.

It is a word of good hope that after every dark night, the morning will come. Thanks be to God.

God, we confess that being in your presence sometimes frightens us.

You have called us time and time again: “Come near!”
But we have responded, “We fear transformation.”

You have said, “Receive a double measure of my Spirit!”
But we have responded, “We are afraid of the Spirit’s power.”

You have said, “Go up to the high mountain, and there see my face.”
But we have responded, “We are afraid that such a holy encounter will disturb our peace and dis-arrange our lives.”

Interrupt our lives, God, with transfiguring light we cannot refuse to see.

Cleanse us from the sin that refuses transformation.

Forgive us for ignoring holy encounters and mountaintop visions.

Enable us instead to see your glory and sense your holiness in the most unexpected places.

Amen.

One of the most uplifting stories in the Bible is the transfiguration of Jesus. The story tells us that Jesus goes up on a mountain to pray, taking with him Peter, John and James. Even though Peter, James and John have traveled with Jesus for a good while, and have seen many miracle moments, this moment on the mountain takes them by surprise. They are completely stunned when Jesus begins to change as he is praying. What an astounding sight to watch the face of Jesus begin to shine, his clothes begin to glisten, and his entire being transfigured before them.

What a moment! Peter wants to hold onto the moment, and wonders how to capture it, how to stay in the moment forever.

That’s my problem, too. Most of the time, in fact, my prayers are simply times of silence when I hope beyond hope that God is hearing me. I pray to what feels like an absent God at times, a silent God that just may not be hearing the prayers of my heart. And if I do experience a holy moment, I cannot seem to hold on to it or make it last. I don’t experience that many holy moments in the first place, but in times of deep prayer, sincere meditation, abiding with God, there are brief sacred moments that make my faith soar.

They are moments of heightened awareness. I call them “mountaintop moments.” Unfortunately, I cannot force them to happen. Instead, such moments literally break into my life in an instant, surprise me, and always leave me different than I was before. In such times, I learn learn that my life holds more holy mystery than I can possibly imagine.

Mountaintop moments remind us that God is real and that we are filled with hidden spiritual insight. Mountaintop moments remind us that we can see Jesus transfigured and walk away from that with our own transfiguration. Mountaintop moments promise us that, though they don’t last forever, they forever change us. Thanks be to God for every mountaintop moment we experience.

I have a dear friend who recently posted this on her Facebook page. “God wrap your arms around me. I’m feeling broken and beaten down.”

I felt deeply concerned for her, though I know she is a courageous and resilient person. But I must remind myself that courage is the willingness to admit being broken, to give yourself into the arms of a loving God.

I have known this friend since she was a teenager struggling to make sense of a lifetime of sexual abuse. She was courageous then, choosing to tell her story to a large group of victim advocacy professionals, and she is courageous now for admitting her vulnerability and letting herself be wrapped into the arms of God.

The Psalmist knew places of brokenness, and prayed in times of trouble.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted.

The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses.

Look upon my affliction and my trouble,
And forgive all my sins.

Look upon my enemies, for they are many,
And they hate me with violent hatred.

Guard my soul and deliver me;
Do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.

Let integrity and uprightness preserve me,
For I wait for You.   – Psalm 25:16-21

I have prayed for my friend. I have no doubt that by now she has taken the pieces of her brokenness and made of them something beautiful. Thanks be to God.

On January 23, 2016, the moon was full. I love this photograph of the full moon over Santorini. And I love that I know that the Santorini moon is the same moon I saw in Georgia. My relatives in Greece might have seen the Santorini moon, just as I saw the moon here. Lighting up the nighttime from dusk until dawn, the January full moon was stunningly beautiful.

I like to consider the moon as another grace gift from God, who desires that we enjoy the extravagant beauty of creation. There are forty references to the moon in Scripture, many of which declare the moon’s supernatural origin.

So many times when we are out at night, I make a comment like, “Look at that beautiful moon.” There is an ever-changing glory about the moon that enthralls us every time we notice it. The problem is that we don’t notice it often enough. I think I will make a covenant with the moon that prompts me to step outside and look for it.

Lots of people “wish upon a star.” I think I will spend more time looking for the moon in the night sky, making that a part of my contemplative time, standing in awe of its ethereal beauty, and maybe even making a few wishes and dreaming a few dreams.

I leave you with this quote by Tahereh Mafi.

The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.

― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

January 31st was the birthday of Thomas Merton (1915-1968). A Trappist monk and prolific author, he wrote on subjects ranging from prayer and the spiritual life to war, peace, and social responsibility. Merton believed that solitude could be found in the act of contemplation and silent reflection in everyday life.

His writings left us with untold words of comfort. One of his most meaningful writings speaks about not knowing the way ahead, about allowing God to lead us, about trusting God in times of fear and uncertainty.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

• Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude

How true it is that we do not see the road ahead clearly. We may see the beginning of our life path, but the end is obscured, with unknown twists and turns along the way. But we can rest in the assurance that even if we seem to be lost, we can move ahead without fear, knowing that God walks with us.

While stabbing an avocado pit with my paring knife to extract it from the avocado, I managed to stab myself. That’s no small thing for me because I have to be so careful not to get infections. Anyway, I applied appropriate first aid, made sure Fred didn’t get a hint of the incident, and moved ahead in cooking our dinner.

Being so careful all the time and worrying about infections gets old. I have been melancholy lately about frequent visits to the dialysis clinic and the continuous process of eight hours of dialysis every day. I am usually very content with my life and grateful for the effective treatment I am receiving. But every once in a while I feel imprisoned by my dialysis machine. It makes travel extremely difficult, and it definitely limits my life.

Yet, even with all of that, I remember the year when I was so sick, knowing that through all of 2014, I came too close to losing my life several times. When I remember that year, I am very grateful to a gracious and healing God. Somehow, I was able to place my trust in God, and I learned that placing your life in God’s hands is the way to persevere when the going gets tough.

So stabbing my hand is no big deal. And it did cause me to remember a difficult year that graced me with healing miracles. I am ever grateful for that. Today, I am anticipating that I will receive a kidney transplant, which will potentially prolong my life. I am in prayer that my time on the transplant list will not be too long and that a donor will appear for me. That will be yet another healing miracle. Until then, there is no better place to put my trust than in God, and so I sing the words of the Psalmist:

Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

Who forgives all thine iniquities; who heals all thy diseases;

Who redeems thy life from destruction; who crowns thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

Who satisfies thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

– From Psalm 103:1-5

“Morning by morning new mercies I see.”

A beautiful sentiment from the hymn, “Great Is Thy Faithfulness.” The hymn is one of my favorites and has always been a great comfort to me. Certainly we can attribute many qualities to God, but God’s faithfulness is one that speaks to me in special ways.

Yesterday, I felt a little lost, not my usual joyful self. Something was holding me hostage, and I could not even put my finger on it. The feelings of loneliness and sadness came in small waves throughout the day. I just could not seem to shake it. When those days come to me on occasion, I welcome a good night’s sleep, knowing that God’s mercies are new every morning.

All of us experience blue days at times. It’s part of the normal ebb and flow of our emotions. A blue day now and then should not cause despair. Instead, we can use such days as opportunities to reflect on our inner feelings, to spend some time being introspective, and to discover more about who we are. Those days are also times for prayer and meditation, times for becoming closer to God, times for contemplating God’s grace and mercy

I am grateful for God’s faithfulness to me, especially on those down days. I cope by opening my heart to new mercies that come with the light of morning.

I hope you will listen to this timeless hymn on YouTube at this link:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yNZS5H9aNlY

One of my favorite Seminary professors introduced me to this quote many years ago.

“We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring is to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” – T.S. Eliot

Part of life’s journey is an exploration of ourselves. It means not being afraid of introspection. It is a process of self-reflection that leads to knowing more about who I am. It is the way to building strength, courage and character.

The journey is replete with twists and turns, forks along the way, stones in the road, and sometimes boulders completely blocking the pathway. Life is not an easy road. Neither is building strength, courage and character. The journey is a risk, and always involves learning things about yourself that you never knew before.

But the rewards along the journey are priceless. Each decision to move forward lets me see myself more clearly. Each time I must handle a heavy boulder, I feel strength growing inside me. Every harsh step along the stony path builds my courage to press on.

And truly, when my exploration ceases, I do arrive where I started, back to my self, and knowing myself better than I did before.

How does one get past that “tiny speck in the vast universe” feeling, that feeling that screams out,”You are insignificant!” It is true, in fact, that in this universe, we are but a tiny piece of dust. The vastness that surrounds us makes us feel infinitesimal, meaning so tiny we hardly matter. In mathematics, infinitesimals are things so small that there is no way to measure them.

So given the small size of our being in God’s universe, how do we make ourselves believe that God knows us and cares for us?

Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. – Luke 12:6-7

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book. – Psalm 56:8

Be assured when you think of yourself as a small part of God’s vast creation, that God has not forgotten you, that you are of inestimable value, that you are in God’s heart, that in your most difficult moments, God knows your sorrows, counts your tears, and collects them in a bottle.

I heard a sermon many years ago that asked the question, “How do you find God?” It was a provocative question that left me pondering, looking for the answer. How do I find God? Amid the noise and haste of my world, how do I find God? In the midst of worries and challenges, how do I find God?

There are some obvious answers, at least for me. I can pray. I can be silent in God’s presence. I can sing hymns of adoration and praise. I can read the Psalms. But I’ll have to admit that most of the time when I do those things, I really don’t find God.

It is a spiritual dilemma, disconcerting at times, when I find that God seems absent in spite of my spiritual disciplines and religious rituals. And then I find this word of good news tucked in the Scripture, Jeremiah 29:11-13.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart.

There’s my answer. Whatever I do — from praying to singing and everything in between — I must search for God with all my heart. And in return, God promises: “You will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart.”

God’s call is mysterious; it comes in the darkness of faith. It is so fine, so subtle, that it is only with the deepest silence within us that we can hear it. And yet nothing is so decisive and overpowering for a human on this earth, nothing surer or stronger. This call is uninterrupted: God is always calling us.

-Carlo Carretto

I can understand the calling of God. I hear it summoning me every day. But “the darkness of faith” is more ominous. That phrase sounds wrong somehow. I always think of faith as something filled with the light of hope and promise. So “the darkness of faith” strikes an uneasy cord in me. And yet, faith can be strongest when there is no lighted path, when taking the next step is stepping into an unknown place. When you can’t see, you simply have step into the darkness trusting God who already knows what’s next on the journey.

God calls us to move forward in faith, to trust in God’s grace, to know that God walks before us. Sometimes God leads us through the storm and through the dark. God may lead us over some stony places. God may lead us close by a dark and dangerous precipice in order to bring us to the green pastures and the still waters just beyond.

But even when all that lies ahead of us is darkness, we can walk into the darkness hearing God’s promise, “Fear not; for I am with you.”

Some days are just hard . . . with worries about health, concern for family members, missing grandchildren, feeling a little blue. Several years ago people were following their biorhythms, calculating the rise and fall of our bodies’ biorhythms as clues to our physical and emotional health. There may be something to that, though Wikipedia seems to debunk the idea. Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about biorhythms:

A biorhythm is an attempt to predict various aspects of a person’s life through simple mathematical cycles. Most scientists believe that the idea has no more predictive power than chance and consider the concept an example of pseudoscience.

So who knows if biorhythm theory explains hard days. The reality is that most of us do have down days on occasion. I love the following definition of a hard day:

“Not standing on top of the world.
But standing under the weight of the world.”

(From a blog entitled The Edge at https://theedgeishere.wordpress.com/the-ins-and-outs/
https://theedgeishere.wordpress.com/the-ins-and-outs/)

So today for me is a hard day. I will push through it like I always do, knowing that tomorrow will likely be better. And I will stand upright (most of the time) on this promise I find in Isaiah 41:10.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Amen.

There is an old Gospel hymn that says, “In times like these, you need a Savior. In times like these, you need an anchor. Be very sure, be very sure, your anchor holds and grips the solid rock.”

There has never been a time when those words were as true as they are now. In these days, we face economic hardships, terrorism, gun violence, war, all manner of insecurity. Many voices shout out answers to solve these dangers and challenges. Their answers are inadequate at best. I suggest just one sure answer from 2 Chronicles.

If my people who are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14. New American Standard Bible (NASB)

We can complain, despair, cry out for help, all to no avail. What we must do is humble ourselves, pray, seek God’s face, turn from our wicked ways, and then wait patiently for God to hear us and to forgive and heal.

Please listen to a moving choral piece entitled “If My People” on YouTube at the following link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MXbn1yhXwc&sns=em

A sunrise reminds me of the best in all of us, the caring, the love, the compassion that is new every morning. The chaotic world we live in needs the best of who we are. That’s why the current political season distresses me with its rhetoric of hate.

There is no doubt that we are immersed in politics these days.The presidential candidates dominate our news outlets with their political views. Parading across the airwaves, there are political platforms day and night. We agree with some of their platforms and promises; we cringe at others.

What makes me cringe more than anything else, though, are when candidates claim to follow God and to uphold Christian values while promising to deport people, carpet bomb countries, and turn away refugees who have nowhere to go. Nathan Hamm suggests a simple, but profound, political platform. He calls it the politics of Jesus.

Love your enemies.
Serve the poor.
Welcome refugees.
Make peace, not war.
Do justice & love mercy.
Care for all God’s creation.

Nathan Hamm

I would like to measure every presidential candidate against these politics of Jesus. When I do that, I seem to hear a lot about hatred, war, deportation, exclusion, and a brand of justice that is frightening at best. Oh, I know that reality sometimes makes it necessary to choose an unfortunate path in order to ensure national security. But is there a political candidate that holds the politics of Jesus in her or his heart as an ideal?

I know this: When I believe that a presidential candidate desires above all else to govern by the politics of Jesus, they will definitely have my full support and my vote. Until then, let us pray for a brand new sunrise of mercy and grace.

Solitude used to be difficult for me. All my life, I have been a social person who loved to be around people. These days are different, and I have made friends with times of solitude. Paul Tillich said this: “Language…has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”

I have found solitude as a comfort these days, a time for self-reflection and a time for spending time just listening for God’s voice. It is a time when I find myself, the deepest parts of myself. It is a time when I find God in fresh new ways.

I love these words by Macrina Wiederkehr:

And don’t we all, with fierce hunger, crave a cave of solitude, a space of deep listening—full of quiet darkness and stars, until finally we hear a syllable of God echoing in the cave of our hearts?

Above all desires, I want to hear a syllable of God echoing in the cave of my heart. Solitude makes that happen for me, and I leave the cave with a renewed sense of my life.

Gorgeous shot of the mouth of Otter Creek in the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore taken earlier this month by Kristina Lishawa Photography.

The photographer writes:

I have photographed this place many times; it is never the same. Seasons march on, light changes, the river bed courses through its varying paths in the sand. My heart, too, affects the picture that is created. Hopes, fears, dreams, regrets, prayers…all are poured out here tonight in this blue hour.

I am not a stranger to suffering, and have learned much about the blue hours of life. Like many people, I have suffered loss in many ways, loss of parents and parents-in-law, loss of my youngest brother, loss of beloved aunts and uncles, loss of employment, loss of a home through fire, loss of the nonprofit organization I built, loss of my physical health through all of 2014. More serious still is the loss of hopes and dreams, life regrets, the experience of fear.

During most of my times of loss, I suffered. At times, I felt as though I would lose myself in the suffering. Romans 5:3-5 speaks hope to me every time I read it.

. . . We also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

Suffering also touches our inner spirit with spiritual and emotional growth, the kind of growth that builds on our resiliency to face every tomorrow. Orson F. Whitney speaks to the growth that comes from suffering:

No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God…and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like God.

In the end there is always abiding hope in the midst of the blue time of suffering.

Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy will continue, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise.  Lamentations 3:21-23 GNT

This is a photo taken by the Hubble Telescope. Scientists cannot begin to figure out what it is. My friend says, “I like to think of it as the gate of heaven.”

On January 8, the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope photographed the spiral galaxy NGC 4845, located over 65 million light-years away in the constellation of Virgo (The Virgin).

On another day the telescope saw Messier 96, a galaxy that resembles a giant maelstrom of glowing gas, rippled with dark dust that swirls inwards towards the nucleus.

Amazingly, the Hubble Telescope sees and photographs astounding images every day, many of them discovered for the first time. Many times NASA scientists have no idea what they’re looking at. I think that’s because this is God’s universe, filled with wonder that humans can only begin to imagine, much less identify.

It seems like a vast array of God’s miracles to me, miracles of beauty and wonder that form the mystery planned by the divine Creator. When I take myself too seriously, I remember that I am just a minuscule, wee speck in that enormous universe. And when I am despondent, I remember that the tiny speck that is me is important to God. That’s miracle! That’s grace!

Today much of the East Coast is wearing a blanket of snow. The blizzard is impacting almost 30 million people, with some places expecting 20+ inches of snow.

There is never a quieter time in a city. Snow falls silently, and the sound of very few vehicles break the silence. Schoolyards are devoid of the voices and laughter of children. Government offices are quiet, though transportation crews are in emergency mode. Airplanes are stilled, with 5,700 flights already cancelled. Traffic is slowly inching along the roadways. Even metro transit is at a standstill.

Families that are normally busy at work and school are gathered around glowing hearths. Even the sound of home furnaces are silent because the power is out in many places.

But we can’t help but think about the places that are anything but quiet. Bustling with sound and labor are the homeless shelters and the organizations and churches that have opened their doors as warming centers. Blankets are being distributed, meals are being served, and we should be extremely grateful for the tireless workers and volunteers that make it happen.

During these days, called the snowpocalypse, remember your neighbors, especially the elderly who may not be able to meet their own needs. Enjoy the quiet, revel at the sight of a winter wonderland of snow-covered trees and roof tops, take this chance to stay in and be lazy, build a snowman with your children, drop into the fluffy ground and make some snow angels, make sure your pets are cared for, remember those who have no warm shelter, and thank God for the sheer beauty of a world covered with  snow.