Wounds and Light

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The dark night of the soul is a journey into light, a journey from your darkness into the strength and hidden resources of your soul.

– Caroline Myss

Lately I have been thinking a lot about darkness. It’s not a very good place to be, but it’s my current reality. Melancholy has edged in on my usually bright being through memories that I would rather forget. Perhaps this is a reflection time for me, giving me a chance to revisit some wounded places and apply additional healing balm to them. Perhaps God wants to speak clearer to me in the darkness, at a vulnerable time.

The darkness doesn’t feel good to me, though. Each day, I dread nightfall in fear that its darkness will punctuate the darkness of my spirit. I am recalling dark, long nights when I was in the hospital. I am remembering some of the wounds of my spirit that happened so long ago. I am examining those wounds with a boat load of anxiety.

In this, perhaps God has a purpose. Perhaps I need to more fully develop a spirituality that prevails even in darkness. Perhaps, as Barbara Brown Taylor suggests, I need to learn about walking in the dark. Perhaps I am being called to explore what I might gain by embracing the darkness. Perhaps I need to lean into Taylor’s encouragement to “turn out the lights and embrace the spiritual darkness, for it is in the dark that one can truly see.ā€ (Learning to Walk in the Dark, 2014) Is it not true that the time when we most closely draw near to God is during a dark night of the soul?

Yet I long for brightness to return. I miss the days just a few weeks ago when all felt well in my world. Still, I am making the best of it, knowing that this phase will eventually pass. I am stretching to reach the light and bring it near. I am holding on tightly to God, who represents for me all that is light.

Sometimes, just a thought, a word, a memory can bring a little light and hope into my spirit. I ran across this quote by Rumi just yesterday. It lifts up hope in me.

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
ā€• Rumi

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