A Longing Heart

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A longing heart searches for God. A longing heart yearns for communion with God. It is during difficult times when that is most important, during those times when we find ourselves disconsolate. I have had some of those times in my life, times when I languished in suffering. I spent a full year under the ravages of end stage kidney failure and the serious infections that accompanied it.

I temporarily lost my ability to write, to feed myself, even to recognize friends and loved ones. Those were my times of longing for God. Those were times of looking beyond this earth to truly experience Gods love, care and grace. I can report, without hesitation, that God was fully present during those hard days.

I spent fifty-eight lonely days in the hospital, much of the time hoping for visitors to show up to comfort me. I was not alone, but I was lonely. I became truly grateful for the nurses and the other professionals that cared for me. I was glad to see the people who cleaned my room and brought my meals. I remember the nurses who made sure I had sugar-free midnight snacks.

But it was God that gave me the comfort I so longed for. As a person of faith, I should not be surprised at that. But after a series of losses, even persons of faith search high and low for God’s presence. I had a longing heart.

That was a bad year, but a year filled with grace from a loving and faithful God. God’s love that reaches to the heavens reached out to me. God’s faithfulness that reaches to the skies reached out to me when I needed it the most.

“Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.”(Psalm 57:8-10).

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