Category: Loss

Inspiration, Loss

Ordinariness

Rev Kathy

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Life can be as ordinary as a field of common clover, all three-leaf. I sometimes get tired of ordinary. I grow weary of passing days with 24 ordinary hours, day after ordinary day. Nothing exceptional marks the days and nights. They just pass, making me wonder if I’m wasting them.

In my younger years, I had the ability to make extraordinary things happen. Not in these days. These days, it seems that my most noteworthy accomplishment is to thrive in the midst of ordinary days.

I would be lying if I said I did not miss the extraordinary days of my life. And I would be lying if I said I am not still trying to reach the extraordinary realm in some way. The truth is I am trying. I am struggling to find meaning in my present days and to cherish every day as a gift. By the way, now and then in that very ordinary field of three-leaf clover one spots a sprig with four leaves, and suddenly it is not so ordinary. It has been estimated that there are approximately 10,000 three-leaf clovers for every four-leaf clover. Even so, people still look for them and known records for finding that rare four-leaf clover have reached as high as 160,000.

Still, I make peace with ordinariness. And as I do, I pay close attention to the words written by Lindsey O’Connor.

“Sometimes mystery defies what our head knows and we feel God reach down into the ordinariness of nightly ritual and speak to our heart with a whisper.”

― Lindsey O’Connor, The Long Awakening, a Memoir

Even in the ordinariness of ritual, I can say that God reaches down and speaks to my heart with a whisper. It is those holy moments that sustain me. An an occasional four-leaf clover.

Friendship, Hope, Loss

Axis Moments of the Heart

Rev Kathy

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People from every state have been sending prayers and support to the people of Louisiana after the devastating flood there. The natural disaster visited upon Louisiana brings out the best of who we are as neighbors — the kindness, the compassion, the generosity.

As we send our prayers and positive thoughts, we know that the people of Louisiana are grateful because the scale of this disaster is historic. Whatever we can offer — donations, volunteer labor, prayers — has been gratefully received.

Bishop Steven Charleston describes the outpouring of care with these words.

As so often happens when natural disasters strike, the best in human courage, kindness and endurance shines through the loss and the grief. These are the great axis moments of the heart, when we swing from our lowest point of despair to our highest expression of faith. Our differences are forgotten, our conflicts set aside. What matters is life and the love that sustains it.

Even when great loss comes to pass, we experience together those “axis moments of the heart” when hope rises above despair and we express our faith in acts of love. Thanks be to God for placing within us hearts of compassion and caring.

grief, Loss

From Midnight to Daybreak

Rev Kathy

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Day and night collide . . . the daybreak of hope slamming into the midnight of despair. Just ask the families of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling, the families of the police officers killed in Dallas. And so many others.

In one part of America, jubilant crowds cheer their presidential candidates, filled with what they believe to be hope for better days. In other places, friends and families mourn senseless murders, their very souls filled with hopelessness and despair.

When will this change? What what must we do to bring justice and peace to our communities? How do we turn this midnight of grief into a daybreak of peace and new hope?

Like most people, I have only questions. Answers are more difficult to offer. Yet we serve a God who turns mourning into dancing (Psalm 30:11) and who calls out to us to do the same.

Let us remember well the timeless words of Dr King.

And let us “refuse to accept the view that humankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace . . . can never become a reality… I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.”

From this midnight, let us strive in every way we can for God’s glorious daybreak!

Dreams, Faith, Life pathways, Life storms, Loss, sadness

Cast Down but Not Destroyed

Rev Kathy

 

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It was several years ago, a sunny, balmy day on the beach. A beautiful vacation with friends. Until the ill-fated phone call.

“Your nonprofit organization will no longer receive state funding. Your grant ends immediately. You will receive no payments as of today.”

To say this was shocking is an understatement. Suddenly, ten years of building was over. Services for victims of violence would cease immediately because staff had to be laid off. I was in shock and inconsolable. I had lost all that I had worked so hard to accomplish. What would we say to our clients? Who would help them when we closed our doors?

The press was asking for comments, but I had no words. All I could muster was silence and a few tears. I was too shocked to really cry. I was too bereft to make any coherent statement to the press or anyone else. Richard Rohr had the spot-on words to describe such a blow.

The pain of something old falling apart — chaos — invites the soul to listen at a deeper level. It invites and sometimes forces the soul to go to a new place because the old place is falling apart. Otherwise, most of us would never go to new places.

So true. I would never have gone to new places. As I look back on the day of my soul’s assault, I can honestly say that I was forced to listen to God at a deeper level. When that old life fell apart, there was something new in my future. Enmeshed in my work, I would never have seen it. I was drowning in my ministry and did not even notice that I was sinking. My health – physically, emotionally and spiritually – was at a low ebb. My friends saw it. I refused to.

In the end, the pain of that loss, the chaos, opened my eyes to a fresh new day. There was a new path ahead, bright and full of promise. As I allowed myself to be comforted, I called to mind one of my favorite scriptures, 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

“We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed . . .”

Faith, God's Faithfulness, grief, Loss

Looking for God

Rev Kathy

 

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In the darkest times of life, I look for God. Unfortunately, on good days I mostly go about business as usual, thinking perhaps that I don’t need God that much. Yet, it is in normal days that I can spend time finding God in all things and truly enriching my life. The words of Steven Charleston offer a great deal of wisdom.

I have been out looking for God again. Out in the world around me, watching for signs and clues to the presence of something holy in life. I am glad to report the evidence is abundant. A young mother comforting her child who was crying. An older couple still walking hand in hand. A garden so peaceful you could hear the flowers grow. An unseen musician practicing piano through an open window. Beauty, love, kindness: all visible manifestations of what makes life sacred. There is more of hope than loss to see for those who take a second look at what surrounds them.

It is so true that I have had my share of loss. The most important part of dealing with loss was taking that second look, taking some time to redefine what the loss really meant for me, and steeling myself to move beyond the loss.

I plan to take second looks. I plan to look around for God in new ways, watching for signs of the presence of something holy. It truly does make life sacred.

Faith, grief, Loss

Loss

Rev Kathy

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Fred and I talked recently about the year I was so sick. He said something I’ll never forget: “I thought I was going to lose you.” His words made a deep impression on me. I have known loss and the grief that comes with it. And I ached for Fred, knowing that he looked at loss squarely front of him and could not escape it.

None of us will get through this life without experiencing loss. So we have to find a way to face off with it and walk away stronger. James Taylor’s song “Fire and Rain” speaks of loss.

Won’t you look down upon me, Jesus, You’ve got to help me make a stand.
You’ve just got to see me through another day.
My body’s aching and my time is at hand and I won’t make it any other way.
Oh, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I’d see you again.

It is so true that turning to God eases loss and gives us the support we need to make it. We have several things going for us: faith, resilience, strength, courage, and a God who is ever present. With those things in place, we can face loss and come away from it whole.