Category: Fear

Faith, Fear, God's Faithfulness

Fear Not

Rev Kathy

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I have experienced real fear. I am experiencing it today, in fact, because I am not feeling well, and because of my kidney disease, the stakes are higher when I am not well.

I also experienced fear more than a year ago during a hospitalization. When the emergency team rushed to my bedside, I was overcome with fear, not understanding exactly what was happening, not knowing the outcome of the emergency procedures.

Obviously I survived that day, and I emerged with a stronger faith in God. During those critical days, with fear and uncertainty as my close companions, so many comforting scriptures came to mind.

From Isaiah 41 . . . Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

From Isaiah 43 . . . Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

From Psalm 27 . . . The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?”

And from Deuteronomy 31 . . . And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.

What incredible comfort I found in those words! The time of crisis passed. But I took those words with me to call to mind on another day. Today is such a day.

Fear, grief, Suffering

The Darkness of Suffering

Rev Kathy

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I spent four years as a hospital chaplain, nine years as a pastor, and eleven years as a trauma counselor working with victims of violence. During those years, I learned a great deal about suffering. I observed it, empathized with it and prayed over it. I tried to discover ways to enter into the suffering with those who were drowning in it. But suffering with others is a complicated and difficult task. Feeling sympathy is easy. Knowing about a person’s suffering is easy. But entering into the suffering of others, being with them in their suffering, is very difficult.

The words of Gordon Cosby ring true to me:

Compassion is to know the pain and suffering of others. Not to know about the suffering and pain of others, but in some way to actually know that pain—to enter it, hear it, taste it, let it in. We talk about getting in touch with our feelings, and that is central to our freedom. The complementary step is to get in touch with the feelings of others. This necessitates getting into their frame of reference, their way of perceiving. Others’ way of seeing might seem wrong or distorted, yet it still is their experience of life…. In part, knowing that someone understands and feels our pain is the relief we need, even if nothing more can be done.

– N. Gordon Cosby
Source: Seized by the Power of a Great Affection

One additional lesson the years taught me: Suffering is much more than pain. Suffering is more than grief. Suffering is the deep-down and relentless assault of one’s soul and spirit. It is utter darkness. It is feeling alienated from the healing God. It is feeling completely alone in an abyss of unrelieved torment.

Medication cannot touch it. Sympathy cards, flowers and covered dishes cannot ease it. Only presence is effective, abiding presence with the sufferer, entering into deepest silence, being near to dry the tears that won’t stop, sitting vigil for as long as it takes.

May God give us the inner strength to suffer with those who suffer, to share with them the healing, renewing grace of a compassionate God.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon you.

– Isaiah 43:2

Fear, God's Faithfulness, Prayer, sadness

Night Prayers

Rev Kathy

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I have had some dark nights of the soul in my life. And it seems that when night falls, the fear is greater, the mourning is harder, the sorrow is more intense, the Lonliness is almost unbearable. In those times, I would pray for the morning, hoping beyond hope that I would survive the night. Sleep would not come and I spent hours worrying. I spent many of those kinds of nights in the hospital, fearful, lonely, worried about my health and wondering if I would ever get well.

I can remember that during those long nights, I would call my husband for support. The time didn’t matter. I might call at 1:00am or even closer to the dawn. My husband was always faithful to talk me through the night crisis.

But when I was completely alone, my prayers emerged from the depths of worry and fear. I was almost desperate to talk to God and hear God’s voice of comfort.

Steven Charleston describes night prayers.

Night is drawing near. Soon the night prayers will begin. The after-hours prayers. The prayers without the need for words. Spoken from the heart, the language of those who work the late shift of sorrow. Night prayers turn bar rooms into churches, motels into cathedrals, truck stops into shrines. Night prayers are first time prayers, last chance prayers, prayers tossed up into the stars to see if anyone is there to catch them. Prayers without expectation. Tonight I will pray with the midnight seekers and the far from home angels. I will offer my own night prayer. For them, with them, in the congregation of the all night diner.

I love the words that speak of tossing prayers “up into the air to see if anyone is there to catch them.” I can attest to the fact that God was always there to hear my night prayers. Thanks be to God.

Courage, Faith, Fear, God's Faithfulness, Hope

Courage

Rev Kathy

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I want to live life with courage, having the strength to greet the unexpected and the audacity to hope for better things. To be sure, courage is not always easy to come by. The assailants we face — change, aging, illness — are formidable foes. Fear is one of our life realities. But the words of Eleanor Roosevelt ring true.

Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.

Eleanor Roosevelt
You Learn By Living (1960)

I have learned that I really do have the strength to stare down difficult times. I have found courage in myself when I least expected to find it. I have stood firm and steadfast before illness, betrayal and personal crisis, and I remain standing as a testimony to the power of courage and the faithfulness of God. I am grateful for the crucible that is my life, for it has been a welcome catalyst for growth, strength, courage, and even hope!

Be strong, and let your heart take courage,
all you who wait for the Lord.

Psalm 31:24 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God is the One who goes with you. God will not leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 New King James Version (NKJV)

Courage, Faith, Fear, God's Faithfulness, Grace, Uncategorized

The Heart to Conquer Pain

Rev Kathy

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No way to escape hardships! It’s inevitable that life will bring us sadness, loss, grief, fear, and all manner of trial. This is a dangerous world, and danger is a part of life. This is a world where pain sometimes strikes us, and there is no way to avoid it.

I recall a terribly dark time in my life when I felt betrayed and abandoned, as if I alone had to face the troubles that had descended upon me. I felt disheartened and despondent. I felt frightened and, most of all, I felt totally alone. It was not a good feeling. It left me bereft of comfort for weeks on end. I could not change the circumstance, and I could not shake the emotional angst.

Prayer was my companion, but I would be lying if I said that prayer worked an instant miracle. Prayer was constant and so was the pain. I was not delivered from it by a prayer or a Bible passage. I simply endured the pain until it began to ease.

Was God present with me during this time? Did God hear my cries? Did God even care that I was going through the valley’s shadow?

My experience was that God was very silent. I knew God’s presence only by faith. I knew God’s compassion only by past experience. I knew I would survive only because I had survived so many difficulties in the past.

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless when facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain but for the heart to conquer it.

– Rabindranath Tagore