The Very Real, Bona Fide Gnat Line

2F5D03EA-A564-4F67-B04E-E43DC632DAD0NEVER! You hear me? NEVER . . . Never would I have moved to Macon, Georgia four years ago if someone had bothered to tell me the place sits smack dab on top of the Gnat Line! I had a perfectly good home in Little Rock, Arkansas, a lovely home that I enjoyed for 35 years. And I had a beautiful patio garden with many plants, trees, flowers and shrubs. And NO gnats!

You think I’m exaggerating. Or maybe spinning a tale for a few laughs.

No!. I’m dead serious about the Gnat Line! This is a genuine map that shows it with a red line of dashes.

457C3485-CDAA-464D-8AF8-1ECD27E37F70I, for one, do not need a map to tell me that the infamous Gnat Line goes directly through Macon, Georgia. The line probably goes through my street! I have empirical evidence. Gnats go after me with a vengeance, lighting all over my arms, relentlessly buzzing my ears, and worse, dive-bombing into my eyes, nose and, if I don’t keep it tightly closed, my mouth. It is not a good experience.

I have applied to my skin and clothing Off, Skin-So-Soft, Deep Woods Off, Sawyer, Cutter, Repel, No-Gnatz, Natrapel, stuff with DEET, stuff without DEET, picaridin, permethrin, and a variety of highly touted plant oils.

To no avail! The Gnats are not deterred. So I designed a stylish gnat hat, thoroughly ridiculous looking, but effective. The problem is the neighbors, the sweet neighbors who try so hard not to gossip about anyone in the neighborhood. But how can they help themselves when a crazy lady with a very strange hat is working in her flower beds, still swatting gnats off both arms. The gnat hat is definitely not my finest fashion statement.

A picture is worth a thousand words, so in lieu of giving you an even wordier description, here is a photo of my gnat hat:11DA5962-66B9-4272-94E8-CAB35D42986F

If you are still skeptical about the location of the bone fide Gnat Line, let me tell you. Those of us who have spent time outdoors in Georgia know precisely where the Gnat Line is exactly 1-6 inches directly IN FRONT OF OUR FACE and probably in our nose!

But to be fair to Georgia . . . Head to the beautiful North Georgia mountains and you will not find a single gnat. And for, now, we’re safe. They’re not here quite yet.

May they get lost on their evil migration and head further north, completely out of our state. That’s my sincere hope regarding gnats!

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