Recently I experienced a perceived misunderstanding with a close family member. It was mostly in my mind and I was hesitant to bring it up and talk through it. But this was a cherished relationship and I knew I had to do everything possible to preserve it. The end result was a loving and understanding conversation that led to genuine growth in our relationship.
We speak often of the word “relationship.” Less often, we use the word “covenant,” but that’s the term God urges us to live into. Hear these words about covenant written by Henri Nouwen.
When God makes a covenant with us, God says: “I will love you with an everlasting love. I will be faithful to you, even when you run away from me, reject me, or betray me.” In our society we don’t speak much about covenants; we speak about contracts. When we make a contract with a person, we say: “I will fulfill my part as long as you fulfill yours. When you don’t live up to your promises, I no longer have to live up to mine.” Contracts are often broken because the partners are unwilling or unable to be faithful to their terms.
But God didn’t make a contract with us; God made a covenant with us, and God wants our relationships with one another to reflect that covenant. That’s why marriage, friendship, life in community are all ways to give visibility to God’s faithfulness in our lives together.
– Henri Nouwen
That is so true. Covenant is not a contract. Covenant is deeper than a relationship. Covenant is grace. If I had considered my relationship with my family member a covenant, our interaction might have been clearer, more intentional, more committed, and filled with more grace.
So I intend to work on creating covenant relationships in my life. It’s God’s best way. It’s the way of grace.