I received a sparkling gift today, a star word, given to me by a ministry colleague and a stranger, Rev. Marci Auld Glass. I do not know how she chose that word. I do know that she has no idea how much that word means to me at this particular time in my life. The word she gave me is “longing.”
Here is how my star word came to be. The Reverend Marci Auld Glass shared this on her blog: “In worship on Epiphany, the day the church remembers the star that led the magi to Jesus, we passed out pieces of paper that had been cut into nice star shapes. On each star was printed a word. I invited the congregation members to take a star and consider how God might be speaking to them this year through the word printed on their star.”
Then she offered a star word to her colleagues in ministry, and I asked to be given a word.
So what do I contemplate as I peek inside the word “longing?” There is the longing to continue my call to ministry while being retired and ill. There is the longing to know when and if I will receive the kidney transplant I need. There is the longing to be nearer to my grandchildren after moving to Georgia from Arkansas, my home of thirty three years. There is the longing to redefine myself in light of so many life changes and challenges.
And there is the longing to transcend all of that and to draw closer to God. I’m not sure how to make that happen, but I have a notion that it has something to do with abiding near the still waters of prayer, creating holy moments near to God, gazing long and hard into the light of Epiphany’s star, holding tightly to the grace that leads through my sacred life journey.
That is my deepest longing.