As I lie in bed, I remember you; all night long I think of you,
because you have always been my help.
In the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.
I cling to you, and your hand keeps me safe.
– From Psalm 63
Yesterday was a sleepy day. It always frightens me when I start sleeping a lot, because that’s what I did before I became ill. So yesterday, I mostly slept all day, and when I was awake, I worried that something was going wrong with me. The worry reminded me of the dark hours when I was so sick, the many months when I was too weak to care for myself.
There is one big difference between now and then. Now I am in a place of being able to fully trust in God to be present with me. Those dark months convinced me of the constant, comforting presence of God. In that, my months of illness were a blessing that brought me closer to God, who was with me constantly. I love the words of Madeleine L’Engle.
“I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lost, that God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly.”
I experienced God’s sheltering wings during the dark days of dealing with kidney failure. Whatever I face going forward, I will rest in God’s care and find peace beneath God’s sheltering wings.
I felt very rested last night. I think I am fine, in spite of my sleepy day. Perhaps the extra hours of sleep were a gift to me from a God who cares for me and my health.
You may enjoy listening to Lydia Stanley singing “Shadow of Your Wings.”