We are troubled on every side, yet not distresssed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed. – 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
i looked around me and saw all the signs of being troubled, perplexed, even persecuted and cast down. The signs: a walker, a wheel char, a lift chair, a bath chair with heavy duty handrails – all signs that I could no longer care for myself. The house, transformed for my comfort, was daunting to me, depressing. And I wondered if ever again I would be able to walk on my own and get up out of my chair.
This passage of scripture, though, rang holy and true. I was not destroyed even after all the destruction to my body. I had failed kidneys, but I still had life, and the hope that my dedicated physical therapist would help me find my way back. During those days, she came twice a week, as did the woman who was my bath aide. Slowly, but surely, they taught me balance, helped me rebuild my strength, and taught me to walk, to get up from my char, and to bathe myself.
I spent many hours sleeping during that time, and I spent my time in relative solitude while inspiration and new hope came back to me slowly and quietly.
I was definitely cast down in these quiet days, but never destroyed.