Category: Hope

Bitterness, Courage, Faith, Hope

Bitter Days

Rev Kathy

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I never had a charmed life. I have lived through bitter days, many of them. I have known sorrow, hopelessness, darkness, emptiness, loneliness, and all manner of emotional angst. But in those bitter times when I thought my world had fallen apart, I always found a fresh measure of faith, certainly enough faith to weather the storm.

It is true that I have often found myself standing alone on shifting sand. It is true that I have experienced loneliness, wondering why God had left me bereft and alone. It is true that, at times, I lost all hope. It is true that my tears fell freely and there was no one to witness my pain.

The words of Bishop Steven Charleston, once again, describe the emotions I have felt along the way.

I don’t know about you, for there are some who live charmed lives, but I have been by that lonely shore, standing alone on shifting sand, looking out to a vast dark emptiness, an ominous and unknown sea stretching out to the cloud covered edge of my world, while waves of sadness crashed around me, stinging my eyes with the salt of ancient tears. How clear and yet how distant is that memory now. Hope is not the absence of sorrow, but the release of that sorrow beside the still waters of faith. The light is right behind you. Turn to find it.

Yes, I did find renewed hope, and I did release my sorrow beside the still waters of faith. I did it many times, always finding that God’s light really was right behind me. Thanks be to God that better days always follow bitter days.

Courage, Hope, Life pathways, Risk

Pathways

Rev Kathy

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Life journeys take us through pathways of all kinds – lonely pathways, contemplative pathways, dangerous pathways, mysterious pathways. The pathways make life exhilarating and unpredictable. The pathways lead us to places we never expected to go, discovering things we never expected to discover.

The pathways make life the pleasure that it is. That is, if we ever learn to travel the pathways without fear. Unfortunately, fear makes us forgo countless pathways, and we miss so much when that happens.

Walking fearlessly requires faith and a heart that can still hope. Walking life’s pathways takes courage and persistence. The Bible gives us encouragement to move forward. “When you walk, your steps will not be impeded; And if you run, you will not stumble.” Proverbs 4:12

So let us walk on with hopeful hearts, taking the pathways before us, being delighted at every turn, fearlessly moving toward our destiny.

Hope, Sorrow

Gentle Hands

Rev Kathy

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Sadness and sorrow . . . frequent companions. There is no escape from times of sadness in this life. We feel like victims of sad times that are difficult to navigate. Sorrow assails us at times, unrelenting in its sway over us. Yet, we do not have to let sorrow have its way. We have the resilience to overcome our days of sadness. Most importantly, we have a God who is always with us as we suffer. I have pondered this quote and allowed the words to penetrate my spirit.

We are not alone in our sadness or our sorrow. There is a quiet spirit that shares our deep emotion, aware of our feelings, our hopes too fragile to even acknowledge for fear they will disappear like smoke, our longings held tightly in the silence of our worry. We are not alone, for a presence stands beside us, there, if only we will trust it, reaching out in whispers eloquent of a love that will never leave us, no matter how hard the path ahead. We are not alone, and never will be, for the one who gave us life holds that life, in hands as gentle as they are strong. – Steven Charleston

I am content to rest in those strong, gentle hands, knowing I am not alone, knowing that God’s love will never leave me. When I am in the silence of my worry, I am confident of the hands that hold me close. Thanks be to God.

healing, Hope, Uncategorized

Healing Waters

Rev Kathy

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I have spent the past two years healing from end stage kidney disease. That does not mean I’m cured. But it does mean that I’m healed enough to have regained my strength and a semblance of normalcy in my life. My dialysis takes eight hours each day, but it has become an accepted part of my “new normal.”

Do I wish I had healthy, functioning kidneys? Of course I do. But I have embraced healing that is my reality, and it’s not a bad life. I have learned that beyond any doubt that the physical, emotional and spiritual parts of me are inextricably interconnected. Genuine healing occurs when all three are well balanced. This kind of healing has its way with the illness, and in very significant ways, thwarts the disease process. I am blessed to experience healing. It is as if God is leading me into healing waters that begin a process of being made well, in the Spitit, the soul, the mind and the body. Healing is not a noun, it is a verb, and it is a continual process within me.

Until God completes that miracle process, I rest on these words:

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls my life.” – Akshay Dubey

Home, Hope, Love

Home of My Heart

Rev Kathy

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I’m on the road today! And I’m celebrating going back home to Little Rock to see friends, church family, and my child and grandchildren. I haven’t seen them in over a year. I have not seen my youngest grandson at all. He turns one today, so if all goes well on the journey, I’ll see him on his birthday.

Home is now far away for me, ten hours by car. My new home is nice enough, and we have made a “sort-of” home here. But Little Rock is the home of my heart, a place that was difficult to leave behind.

I can not help but think of Naomi’s story of leaving home in the first chapter of the book of Ruth.

In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there. But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband.

It must have been traumatic to leave home for her, and when her husband and sons died, she must have languished terribly. The story goes on to tell us that Naomi survived and built a new home.

That’s what we do. We build home wherever we go. We put our heart into every new place, and eventually the heart makes it home. I will do that in Macon. I have already made some progress. I have a dear and loving family here, and we so enjoy one another. But for today, I am celebrating going back home! To the place of my heart! To the people of my heart!

Courage, Faith, God's Faithfulness, Hope, Inspiration, Life storms

On to the Land of Promise

Rev Kathy

 

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Richland Creek Wilderness

Have you ever wandered in a wilderness? I have certainly felt at times as if I was wandering in a wilderness . . . abandoned, confused, disoriented.

The Bible tells the story of the children of Israel wandering in the wilderness for a very long time. We find one reference to that story in Numbers 32:13.

The LORD’s anger burned against Israel and he made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until the whole generation of those who had done evil in his sight was gone.

Certainly no wilderness wandering that I have experienced has been that long and grueling. Yet I do know about a personal wilderness journey. I know how lonely it feels, how forsaken. I know that it seems to go on forever with no end in sight. I know that such wilderness journeys can happen when one is ill, isolated, disheartened, grieving or simply feeling empty.

Numbers concludes with the Israelites coming to the end of the long, hard journey. They are now standing on the Plains of Moab, just across the river from the promised land. This is where Moses gives his final commission to the people. And in the next book, Deuteronomy, the end of the wandering in the wilderness becomes a reality.

Look, he has placed the land in front of you! Go up, take possession of it, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, said to do. Do not be afraid or discouraged!”  – Deuteronomy 1:21

And that’s the good word we need to hear. Our wandering is over. God has walked beside us through whatever wilderness we travelled. We are free to move into our own land of promise where life is no longer filled with fear and discouragement. The magic, though, is this: coming out of the wilderness is our choice. God has the land of promise ready for us. We need only to walk into it with courage and fresh hope.

 

God's Faithfulness, Grace, Hope, Love

Healed of Sad Memory

Rev Kathy

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The anniversary of my brother’s death was in late March. I did not allow myself to emotionally mark the actual date, and that was probably a mistake. The loss has hovered over me since the day I chose to largely ignore it. And there is a cloud of sadness over my head. Pete was our baby brother, and he certainly did not leave us in the right order. He was the youngest, so he should have outlived his two older siblings. But that was the thing about Pete. He didn’t follow rules and expected practices.

I survived his death emotionally. My brother and my cousin also survived it. His young wife and his two beautiful daughters did too. But there was a special kind of love that made it possible to survive. Pete loved lavishly and graciously. It is that kind of love that still watches over us and heals us of the sad memory. It is God’s love that carries us beyond the sadness and brings us into the light of hope. The words of Steven Charleston describe it perfectly.

What gracious love is this, that watches over us without ceasing, that allows for our frailty, that lifts us up when we have stumbled, never wavering in hope for us, never despairing at our shortcomings, but believing in us, defending us, calling forth our better nature, until we are healed of sad memory, restored to live in the fullness of our life, set free from the snares of what can harm us, to be who we were made to be, long ago, by this same gracious heart, the one that formed us before the first dawn, and that will carry us safely beyond the golden light.

This blog post is for Pete, and is dedicated to Shelli, Kristen and Kaitlyn.

God's Faithfulness, Hope, Uncategorized

Hope!

Rev Kathy

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I don’t usually pay much attention to quotes printed on signs, but today I saw this one that hit me right between the eyes.

God is saying to you today, “Everything will work out. I’m in complete control. I know what the medical report says. I know what the financial situation looks like . . . I know how big your dreams are, and hear me clearly; I will not fail you.”

So to extrapolate this message for me . . . “I know what the strain of dialysis is like. I know you miss your grandchildren,. I know you endure a lot of pain. I know what the future holds for you. I know where your kidney is.”

And that works for me. The promise is in Hebrews 13:5.

” . . . for God has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support.”

What a word of hope!